In “Understanding the stage your guy is in” I told you about Alison Armstrong’s study of what makes men tick and her subsequent “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®” workshops. I attended the free introductory program and not only confirmed some of what I’d learned on my own, but got some refinements and new information as well.
An interesting concept that I think more women need to hear is that all men don’t like the same model-like body shape. In fact, she asked many men, “What’s your favorite curve on a woman’s body?” Each man grinned as he described and usually drew in the air that curve.
Some were of a woman’s breasts or butt, as we’d imagine. But a whole lot more said things like, “The curve where her back transitions to her tush,” or “Where her waist goes in under her ribs,” or “Where her calf shifts into her ankle.” Some men liked the curve of chins, necks, arms, bellies, etc. Who knew? Of course, some men liked more pronounced curves than others.
She also cemented the idea that men look at overall body shape, not individual imperfections. I remember standing naked in the bedroom talking to a boyfriend after taking a shower. He looked me up and down and said, “Wow. I just love your body.” Now remember, I am not a gym rat and have bumps and bulges, so this is not what I expected. I pointed to my cellulite-dimpled thighs and said, “So this cottage cheese stuff doesn’t bother you?” “No. I don’t even notice it.” “What about these love handles?” “Nope.” I nearly jumped over the king-size bed and kissed him then and there.
I’ve learned that often a man sizes up a woman as his “type” by her shape. That’s, in part, how a guy can know if he wants to pursue you or not within seconds of meeting you. It’s not only your face, clothes, walk, posture, hair, smell, etc., but much of it is an overall “Do I find her shape attractive.” We women usually label that shallow as we think he should get to know our personality before deciding. But it is what it is, and getting angry or frustrated doesn’t help really. So having a full-length picture on your dating site profile will eliminate some of those awkward brief meetings when the guy decides you aren’t his type within milliseconds.
The good news for us is that no matter what your shape, it’s likely some men will find your curves appealing, whether they are prominent or nearly straight. Now if we could just learn to appreciate them as much as the guys do.
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