Both genders say confidence is one of the most appealing attributes in a sweetie.
However, there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. Certainty is part of both. Here’s an example of when certainty turned unappealing.
Mr. R had been calling and texting for a few weeks as he was making arrangements for a flight to meet me. He was so certain I was “the one” — without yet meeting me, he’d deleted his profile from the dating site.
In one of our calls, I’d mentioned a friend was coming from out of town for a big birthday party we were throwing for me that weekend (4 days before my actual birthday) so he and I wouldn’t be able to talk when she was at my home.
He kiddingly said he wasn’t happy about this banishment.
During her 3-day stay I didn’t hear a peep from him. A few more days passed, including my real birthday, with nothing. On the day after my birthday, I texted, “Happy day after my birthday.” I didn’t mean to chide him — I thought I was being funny.
His reply: “My crystal ball broke so it didn’t tell me of your bday.”
My response: “I thought I’d shared that was why my friend flew in and we were having a big party on Sat. Maybe that got lost in our conversations.”
Him: “It was not lost; it was never mentioned.”
I did not respond. I decided that I had no room in my life for someone who was adamant about a communication. No one has a perfect memory. There was no space for, “Wow. I don’t have any memory of that. I would have thought I’d remember something important like that.” So hint that he could be wrong — it was me who was wrong, he was sure.
I have not heard from him since and it’s been 2 weeks, which is fine by me. I don’t want to be with someone with this low of social skills.
Have you ever dated someone who’s certainty was off-putting? If so, tell us about it.