Why online dating is like a sushi bar

Dating after 40: why online dating is like a sushi barYou sit comfortably and watch the dishes go by. You pick what looks appealing.

If you’re curious, you look more carefully and read whatever description is provided.

If an interesting one slips by without your snagging it, soon another option appears right in front of you. You don’t even have to move.

In fact, more often than not, the same dish will come back in a little while.

But once contact is made you can’t just put it back. You have to at least entertain liking it, if only briefly. Then you can dump it if it’s not to your taste.

Having a steady flow of potentially yummy options has pros and cons. A pro is you may be introduced to something you might not have sought out. You may be delightfully surprised — or disappointed.

Or having this unending flow may make you pickier, as you know what you do and don’t want. The problem can be what you want isn’t on the conveyor belt. Perhaps you want — really want — tacos. But you’re at a sushi bar. No matter how long you wait, you’re never going to find what you’re looking for.

But if you want sushi — even uncommon sushi — you are likely to come across what you seek. You may just have to wait a while and be relentless in continuing to look, even when faced with dish after dish of what isn’t appealing to you. Or you may have to go to another sushi bar.

You may even try entertaining several dishes at the same time. If so, it allows you to compare and contrast before deciding on a favorite.

Just like a sushi bar, online dating takes clarity of what you want, balanced with a willingness to try something you might not have thought you’d like. It takes alertness to be engaged in the process, not ignoring what’s in front of you. If you have the attitude that the right dish will just fall in your lap, you’ll be disappointed.

So keep up your vigilance and continue your search, even when nothing looks good to you. Distract your hunger by engaging with friends, but continue to keep your eyes open to what’s presented to you. You never know when what you want is in front of you and you have to snatch it quickly.

And when you get what you want, don’t forget to thank the sushi chef.


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4 responses to “Why online dating is like a sushi bar”

  1. Tom Gray Avatar

    Hey DG – brilliant analogy and funny. Of course we are talking about raw fish so even if you ‘dump it’ it could still make you ill. And I’m not sure if I want to sample the sushi that keeps coming back – what’s wrong with it, why don’t any of the other sushi eaters want it?

    Hmmm, I wonder what kind of sushi my SO thinks of when she thinks of me?

    Thanks for the day brightener.

  2. Dating Goddess Avatar

    Hey Tom!

    I’m glad you liked my metaphor.

    When I said you could dump a dish that wasn’t too your liking, I didn’t mean it was tainted! Just not something that made you happy.

    If something/someone comes back again, it’s not necessarily because there’s anything wrong with it. It may just be for very sophisticated palates. After all, *I’m* still single! I’m sure I come up in guys’ matches who’ve passed me over before.

    I bet your SO thinks you’re a very tasty fish!

  3. Walke Avatar

    I love your idea of a steady flow of potentially yummy options. Sometimes getting out of the normal rut can lead to some interesting surprises.
    There have been times when I’ve dated someone on a whim and had a great time, even though we ultimately weren’t going to be a good match.

  4. Ben Avatar

    Interesting analogy. I’ve always thought of dating as a game of chess… Any wrong move, from a man perspective, can get you “killed” and off the board.