“Within only 30 minutes I will know if he is a fit for me? Not a full date?”
“No, you won’t need longer,” she responded. “You will be able to tell what you need to know within less than an hour. If you want to give him a full evening, that’s fine, but I think you’ll know pretty quickly.”
I’ve thought about this as I’ve been dating. Was she right? Could I tell if I wanted to know someone better and he’d be a good match for me within less than an hour?
The truth is, no I haven’t been able to tell if someone is a good match within the first hour. But I have known if a guy wasn’t a match before the end of the first date. When I’ve decided to see him again, even though I knew we weren’t a great match, it has ended, even though it may have taken 6 weeks to go through the process. Sometimes I thought I could overlook characteristics that meant we weren’t a great match. But so far, of the men I’ve let go – vs. the men who’ve let me go – I could tell pretty quickly.
So notice how you feel at the end of the first date and decide if you see enough of what you want in a mate to explore if you’re a good match. If you’re only seeing him again because you are lonely or bored or there’s no one else on the horizon, do both of you a favor and don’t accept a second date.
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