You may answer, “No. A man has to treat me right or he’s out of my life, no matter how handsome he is.”
Or perhaps you realize that good looks do buy some good will, often more than is warranted. It isn’t something most of us are proud to admit, but yes, we do allow hunky men to get by with some behaviors we wouldn’t accept from others. Shallow, I know.
During my recent 5-month whirlwind romance with a handsome and chiseled man, a good friend repeatedly asked, “Would you put up with his nonsense if he wasn’t so good looking?” I sheepishly answered, “Probably not.”
Part of it, I think, is we consider the whole package when we make our decisions about what to tolerate and when to put our foot down. If my ex-beau had been only eye candy, the tolerance threshold would have been much lower. I’ve gone out with handsome men who were arrogant, selfish, and inarticulate, all of which are turn offs. So if a man is only great looking, there’s not enough to hold my interest. But if exceptional looks are coupled with other attractive characteristics, the combination can cause you to look the other way when faced with marginally acceptable behaviors.
I’ve often said, “Yummy is as yummy does” since an average-looking man becomes more attractive as you get to know his kind, generous, romantic or courageous spirit. And I’m not proud to admit that sometimes yummy does provide indulgences for not-so-yummy behaviors.
So should you not date hot men? You should date anyone you find interesting, stimulating, and attractive. But be vigilant in noticing what you accept that you wouldn’t endure in a not-so-handsome man. You should be treated always with the utmost respect and not lower your standards just because he’s gorgeous.
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Very good point.
I put up with incredible heartache because I thought he was so cute plus had everythng else I wanted.
Had he been unattractive, I would have seen he wasn”t ANYTHING I wanted.
How he treats me has to take precedence over how much he turns me on. Because the latter isn’t worth anything if the former isn’t consistently good.
🙂
Really interesting question!
I was just thinking about this… yes, it’s hard to say “no” to hunkiness. But even more than that, there’s something about sexual energy that pulls me in. I think that’s really the key. If a man is average looking, but he has the extra flare, that assertiveness…. that’s what attracts a woman. When he acts scared and unsure, it’s a turn off.
Agree?
My friends were shocked when I gave up on a gorgeous, accomplished, charming man. He was not the one for me. It took me 6 weeks to go from dazzled to reality. I have to admit I let him slide on a few things because he was such a great package. We had a great attraction but wanted very different things. I’ve learned from the experience to look a bit deeper .