Do you know what your voice projects about you to your potential date? Most people don’t. They can’t even stand to listen to their outgoing voice mail. But in the dating game, how you sound is one component of the dance that can either lead the guy to ask you out or beg off.
Today I talked to a new potential suitor. His picture was cute; his profile expressed intelligence and humor; he was tall. All good things.
But his voice wasn’t as deep and strong as I like. Is it a deal breaker? No. But it doesn’t add to his allure. However, another man with a Barry-White-type deep, melodious voice earned many dates with me, even though there were other things that weren’t a great fit. I loved hearing him speak and overlooked other imperfections because of it.
Another man was jovial on the phone, but he mispronounced too many words, even though he had a graduate degree. He also slurred words. If he’d just had some help with diction and enunciation, he would have come across much better. Another’s speech pattern was effeminate. He is intelligent and fun, but when I first heard him on the phone, I wondered if he might be gay. He isn’t. I went out with both, so the voice wasn’t a show stopper. But it did make a difference in their overall attractiveness.
Men often comment that they like my voice. One said, “I’m so glad you don’t have a high, nasal, or squeaky voice. That would be hard to listen to.” I have worked hard to have a pleasant voice, even suffering through listening to recordings of myself to make improvements.
You don’t want to sound breathy, as that sounds like you work for a 900 service! I know a woman who answers the phone with a breathy “hel-low,” sounding as if she were the receptionist for a call-girl service, rather than a mid-life mother of teenagers. And she only talks like that until she knows who it is, then she slips into her “normal” tone. The difference feels odd because of the inconsistency. She does, however, have wrong numbers call back just to chat with her! But none have resulted in a date.
Get some feedback about your voice. If you could improve, get some help from a voice coach. It will not only affect your success in dating, but will probably help you in your job as well.