Be creative to get his attention!

Last week I had two sublime dates, Wed. and Thurs., with a new guy (#65 if you’re keeping track). I loved being with him, and from all he said and did, it seemed he felt similarly. He called twice Friday while on a business trip (yes, even over a weekend). He’d said it was fine to call him, so I left him a voice mail Sunday night, and he called Monday. Tuesday he sent two brief emails. Then nothing for nearly 3 days.

I’m used to guys calling or emailing every day, especially if it seems like there’s a mutual attraction. Perhaps I was impatient. In the unstable first few weeks of a potential relationship, there is uncertainty. I was wanting some sign he was still interested. Call it insecurity. I try to rein it in, but unfortunately it leaks out despite my best attempts.

I didn’t want to call him again — it seemed so desperate. After all, in He’s Just Not That Into You it says guys don’t like to be chased, and they will call if they are thinking about you and want to talk to you. So I decided to get creative.

Since he interviews and hires people as part of his job, I decided to write an email speaking his language.

Subject: Job application status request

Dear Dr. XX:

As you know, I applied for your organization’s position of “sweetheart trainee” last week. I enjoyed very much our two interviews and thought I fit the job qualifications very well. You are a great interviewer! I thought the practice session Thurs. night went particularly well, and could see myself enjoying the job very much. From your response, it appeared that your needs and my skills were a fit.

Since it’s been a little while since we’ve touched base, I’m wondering if the position is still available or if it has been filled. Or perhaps you are still searching for a better-qualified candidate. I’m happy to have a third interview to determine if we are a good fit, before starting a probationary period.

I know you have been very busy with your frequent travel. But if you would be so kind as to tell me if the position is still available and if so, if I’m being considered for it, or if I should move on to the next opportunity. I would love to fill the job, and would be very sad if I’m out of the running, but understand if you think it may not be a good fit.


An hour later he called laughing, as he’d just read it. He said a coworker next to him wondered what was so funny that caused him to laugh so loudly. I was glad to hear from him. He apologized for not being in more regular contact, that he’d work on being better, especially when he was traveling. We set a date for this weekend. Creativity can work!

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5 responses to “Be creative to get his attention!”

  1. Paulette Avatar

    Are you considering this email to him proprietary intellectual property, and, if so, is it available for licensing? (that said from one information product developer to another!) Please advise as to your terms.

    Kind regards,

  2. Dating Goddess Avatar


    Well, of course it’s copyrighted, but we can work on a licensing agreement. Are there lots of men you want to send it to? We can work on a bulk-purchase program. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. carol Avatar

    Guys are pissing me off.
    From that book….a guy doesn’t like to be chased so the silly woman has to wait for a sign for when he’s in the mood for calling …..
    When he calls, the woman should just do the same to him.
    “You know what?I’ll call you when i am in the mood for you. ok? I am not really thinking of you right now.”

    Your letter to him has a very sweet sarcasm.

  4. Dating Goddess Avatar

    Hmm. I didn’t mean it as sarcastic. In fact, I meant it sincerely, trying to ascertain the info I wanted in a funny way.

    Since he didn’t call last night as I thought he’d said he would, maybe the real answer is to continue exploring other possibilities — which I am! Stay tuned!

    I wonder if guys really get how their lack of a phone call every few days leaves a woman to think he’s uninterested — at least at the beginning. Or maybe he knows and he’s not that interested, so doesn’t feel compelled to call.

  5. carol Avatar

    Oh,my mistake then. I am sorry.

    And I am sorry he behaves like that. You would say that at a certain age, they are more serious and they’ve learned something but it seems different.

    As for guys knowing what’s he’s making a woman thinking by not calling her….
    At this point there are all a “Homer”.