Nearly every unpartnered person gets lonely sometimes. If you long for more social interaction, you will do nearly anything to connect with other human beings. I think it’s why so many people hang out in bars, Starbucks, or the library. (See “What’s your ‘need for affiliation’?“) I didn’t understand why anyone could get any work…
Dating after 40
What’s your relationship recovery time?
“Recovery time” is however long it takes one to return to normal after an event. Whether it’s the time it takes an athlete’s body to return to normal heart rate or hydration after a grueling event, or someone’s return to health after a setback. Or how long it takes for someone to recover after a…
Where’s the line between getting your needs met and being selfish?
Midlife daters generally have experience in relationships, and thus negotiating solutions to different relationship desires. However, if you have been unpartnered for a number of years, you are probably used to getting what you want because you haven’t had to take an adult partner’s desires into account. So let’s say you (or your guy) want…
He wants to get sexual — online!
A DG reader writes: This has happened a few times so am wondering if it is just me, or is common with midlife guys — or just midlife guys on online dating sites. We begin a fun banter via email or IM. I don’t get dirty with them, just playful. Some time passes — anywhere…
He’s broken up with you — he just didn’t tell you
My guy pals have told me that men are emotional cowards. They’d rather walk barefoot over broken glass than do something that would make a woman cry. Thus their preference for going poof rather than tell you they have changed their mind. A year ago I was interviewed by the Wall Street Journal for a…
Extricating yourself from a dud date
There are good dates, ambivalent dates, bad dates, and sometimes dates that are none of the above, just clearly not encounters with someone who is in any way a match. They can be painful when you, for manners sake, must stay longer than you would prefer. A while ago, after a few email and phone…
Has Greg Behrendt done women a disservice?
You may know that Greg Behrendt is the more visible co-author, with Liz Tuccillo, of the wildly popular advice book for women, He’s Just Not That Into You. In it they tell us, among other things, that if a man you’re dating doesn’t call you at least once a day, he’s just — you guessed…
He doesn’t introduce you to his adult kids
DG reader Carol asks: I’m a single woman with three grown children, ages 26, 24, and 19, all on their own. I’ve been dating a man for eight months who has two adult sons, ages 37 and 35. He is fearful of introducing them to me, although he’s met my children (and liked them), friends,…
Can ducks help you find love?
When in Singapore in January, I learned about a Chinese legend that is supposed to help you attract love. It’s pretty simple. In Chinatown, a friend pointed out two Mandarin duck figurines. She said if you put these little statues in your bedroom so they faced each other bill-to-bill, they would attract love to you….
Making your own happiness
Yesterday was my birthday. When your birthday approaches, do you ask yourself, “What do I want?” Not just tangible presents, but what would make you happy not only on that day, but in life? I do. Approaching my birthday, I decided I wanted to spend it with King Charming. Since I didn’t expect him to…
Disguised compliments
At dinner, a date once exclaimed, “Girl, I’m glad you like to eat!” I immediately wondered if I was wolfing down my meal, or if I had ordered too much and he thought I was pigging out. After quickly assessing I’d done neither, I asked what he meant.