Most companies require new employees to undergo a 30-, 60-, and/or 90-day review to discuss how they are doing at their job. Typically part of the discussion is how well the employee thinks s/he is doing and what s/he likes and doesn’t like about the job. The boss then shares how she thinks the employee…
Real deal or faux beau
The Valentine’s angst is upon us
Valentine’s Day can be stressful, no matter what your situation. If you don’t have a sweetie in your life and want one, perhaps you’re feeling some stress. One radio interviewer wanted me to help his listeners with ideas on how to get a sweetheart by Valentine’s Day. Since I’m not in the quick-hookup business, I…
The dangers of idealization
On a third date, a guy and I were sharing how well we both felt we got along and how well matched we seemed to be. He surprised me when he said, “Don’t idealize me.” I hadn’t been. I was clear on his imperfections, yet was enjoying the parts that I liked. It can be…
Is your date trainable?
Sometimes I’m asked why I don’t always speak up when a date does something I don’t like. I weigh several things: Do I care enough about this relationship to put effort in trying to improve it? If it is a one-time coffee date with someone I can see isn’t a good match, then I don’t…
“When can I meet your kids?”
I have never asked a guy this. However, a woman recently shared that she asks this on the first date. Additionally she asks, “When would you be comfortable meeting mine, and each others’ friends?” Even though I don’t have kids, I know how protective most people are of theirs and introducing them to people they’re…
The “Better Than Nothing” guy
In my friend Susan Page’s bestselling book, If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever she discusses the “Better Than Nothing” (BTN) partner. A BTN is someone you know isn’t “the one,” yet you hang onto him because you feel it’s better to have someone…
When do you tell your date about irritants?
There seem to be several camps on this: Immediately when the annoyance happens, even on the first date. Say something so he can modify his behavior. No matter how small the irritation, you should say something when it happens. Not on the first date, unless the behavior is egregious (blowing his nose in the cloth…
Clues a guy is just looking for a booty call
I have a new friend, the writer of “Male Call,” a syndicated newspaper columnist on “Advice From a Guy.” I asked him a question I thought might interest you. We had this exchange: DG: What are signs a guy is just looking for a booty call on the first date? MC: Wait a sec —…
Broaching tough conversations
In talking with a married gal pal, we discussed how sometimes it is hard to bring up difficult issues to your mate. I shared that there were things in my marriage that I wish I’d brought up, but instead kept them to myself. She agreed that she was withholding some difficult topics in her relationship…
Do you tend to your relationships the same as your plants?
While visiting a guy I’m dating, I had some free time as he was BBQing dinner. I noticed some of his patio plants needed a little cleaning up. I asked him if I could tend to them and he said sure. As I began to clean out the spent blooms and dried leaves, it struck…
Does he invite you to his place?
Yesterday a friend called: “I have a new lesson about dating.” She’s been dating longer than I have so I was interested in what new wisdom she’d gleaned. “Spill,” I demanded. “Before you get too involved with someone make sure you go to his home. If he doesn’t have you over, he may have another…