Sometimes too much of a good thing is not wonderful, as Mae West said it was. Instead it can be time consuming. Too many potential suitors can mean it’s time to release some back into the dating pool.
Today I had dates with two new guys — one for lunch, one for coffee. Additionally, I talked to Mr. 400Miles for a few minutes, Rocket Man for 2.5 hours, and had a message from Zen Man. I need to clean a few guys off my plate.
Lunch Guy is smart, interesting, and took early retirement from his job. Now he does volunteer work, sings in a choir, sails and reads. He lives an hour away from me and I just didn’t feel a spark. I wrote him a nice email that he was a great guy but I don’t see that we have enough in common for a relationship.
Coffee Guy is also smart, interesting, articulate and nice. He lives in my neighborhood and at the end of our 90 minutes together he said, “Let me know if you want to have dinner sometime.” I most likely won’t, but will invite him to be a pal since he only lives a few blocks away.
I will call Zen Man back tomorrow and tell him I think it’s best we be just friends.
Mr. 400Miles still calls me nearly every day, but our calls are pretty perfunctory since he mostly calls from work when he only has a few minutes in between meetings. I enjoyed the few times we’ve been together, but I don’t have enough experience with him to know if it could develop into something else. We’ve grown to know each others’ lives pretty well, but nothing deep about how the other feels about life, and more importantly about each other. I know I should release him back into the dating pool, but this one is hard to do, as we’ve talked daily for 6 months, but only seen each other twice.
And Rocket Man — I need to actually meet him to decide if he’s a keeper. But so far, we’ve talked about things no other man has seemed to be interested in. I love our conversations, which is why we talk so long. He’s planning on coming to see me next week, in between gigs to blow things up.
Juggling several men can be fun and exciting. But it can also be time consuming and confusing — especially if you forget who you told what to. But when it’s clear you’re not a good match, best to release him so he can find someone who is. I know, I haven’t taken my own advice on this about Mr. 400Miles, but I will find a way to let him know very soon.
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Comments
5 responses to “Cleaning out the suitors”
Ahhh yes. Juggling men.
Have you resorted yet to putting each of them and their “bios” on separate index cards? I know women who have done this!
Rocket Man sounds interesting…
Is Mr. 400 miles married?
We all long to go back to simplier times. Why don’t you do it the old fashion way – invite them all over, give them bats clubs, and date the last man standing?
You almost have to date several dates before you can actually find “Mr. Almost Right.” Weeding through a complex dating maze of men that are ” It’s All Me, or “I am a Fun kinda Guy” and lets not forget the “I Am Only Looking For Ms. Right”, I have learned that dating several can bring you to a better understanding of whats out there. Or not out there, depending on how you wish to see it. So I say let the index cards begin….
Annie, Bruce and Jean:
No index cards here. I’ll share how I track my guys in a posting very soon.
And Bruce, no clubbing — at least not the kind you are suggesting. I’m non-violent! And besides, I’m not looking for the strongest brute, just the one that can melt my heart. How are you at heart-melting?
Jean — yes, dating multiple guys helps you quickly see what works and doesn’t for you. It also prevents you from being in scarcity mode and thinking you have to hang out with someone who isn’t for you just because you’re afraid of being alone.
Thanks for all your comments!