Get your bad self on

Do you know how to feel sexy?

This seems like an odd question for someone in midlife. But an attractive, midlife woman came up to me after I gave a talk at an executive women’s event where she modeled in the fashion show.

“That was a very cute dress you modeled.” I shared when she came to shake my hand. “Are you going to buy it?”

“No, no. It’s not really me,” she responded.

“It was sexy on you showing your cute figure.”

“I just can’t see wearing it anywhere.”

“Really? Not on a date night with a special someone?”

“Funny you say that. I’m 47 and have been divorced for a few years and my 20-year-old daughter says I should start dating.”

“Do you feel ready?”

“I want to have someone special in my life, but I’m not sure I know how to be sexy. You see, I’m a financial analyst and sit with a bunch of nerdy guys all day. I’d never wear anything form-fitting to work.”

“It’s probably not appropriate to do so at work. But after work, get your bad self on!”

“I don’t really know how to do that.”

“If you bought that dress — and I have no relationship with those selling it — I bet you’d find a place to wear it. Maybe out for drinks with gal pals at first. Then when you start dating, it would be perfect for dinner with a great guy. But if you don’t have anything fun and flirty in your closet, it will be hard to get used to wearing something that shows off your assets.”

“I don’t mind showing my legs. But not my arms.”

“You’ve got great legs. And that dress was short enough to showcase them while still being age-appropriate. You don’t have to have bare arms if you don’t want to.”

“It’s a bit of a stretch to wear something sexy.”

“Stretching is good. It can’t be too much or you’ll never wear the dress. But a little stretching is a great way to grow.”

“Thanks. I think I’ll get the dress and find a place to wear it.”

“You go girl! Get your bad self on!”

What do you know you could do to stretch yourself to be and feel a bit sexier? Tell us your stretch goal.

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5 responses to “Get your bad self on”

  1. Sydney Avatar

    Ooh! I’ve always been bad! Does that make me any sexier? LOL! 🙂 Nice post, by the way.

  2. Angel Donovan Avatar
    Angel Donovan

    Not wearing clothes or a style that stands out and makes people more attractive or sexy is a common issue with both men and women.

    At the base it’s a confidence issue – not wanting to stand out. Not wanting to take that risk to be different – and unfortunately you have to be different to be attractive.

    For the over 40s in particular there is another issue – fashion education. It seems like they are stuck in the past when ‘fashion’ wasn’t around us all day. They grew up at school without all the fashion media blitz and the ‘fashion’ competition at high school. And they stayed like that.

  3. Jennifer Avatar

    I recently lost about 20 pounds and can finally feel comfortable in the types of clothes I wore when I was in my 20s (adjusted to make them more age-appropriate, of course).

    Took a red dress out for a spin on the dance floor a couple of weeks ago and my companions had to beat them off with a stick for me. Not sure if the confidence was there before I bought the dress, or if the dress made me confident; either way, it attracted attention from both men and women.

    We owe it to ourselves to dress well and present ourselves as confident, well-groomed, attractive people. It doesn’t have to be “high fashion”, it just has to be something that makes YOU feel like a million bucks. Odds are good that other people will see it that way, too.

  4. Randy Sloan Avatar

    Guys over 40 could take a clue from this post as well! Nothing more sad than seeing a guy try too hard to cling to a look from his distant past, (i.e. No guy past twelve years old should have a baseball cap on backwards) or high-waisted, stone-washed jeans with the shirt tucked in!

    Yes, there has been progression in fashion over the past 20 years gang! lol!

  5. bookyone Avatar

    IMHO wearing what makes you feel comfortable/secure will project a confident (therefore sexy) attitude to others, regardless of what the latest fashion magazines/gurus say.