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Get your bad self on

Posted on September 24, 2011September 24, 2011 by Dating Goddess

Do you know how to feel sexy?

This seems like an odd question for someone in midlife. But an attractive, midlife woman came up to me after I gave a talk at an executive women’s event where she modeled in the fashion show.

“That was a very cute dress you modeled.” I shared when she came to shake my hand. “Are you going to buy it?”

“No, no. It’s not really me,” she responded.

“It was sexy on you showing your cute figure.”

“I just can’t see wearing it anywhere.”

“Really? Not on a date night with a special someone?”

“Funny you say that. I’m 47 and have been divorced for a few years and my 20-year-old daughter says I should start dating.”

“Do you feel ready?”

“I want to have someone special in my life, but I’m not sure I know how to be sexy. You see, I’m a financial analyst and sit with a bunch of nerdy guys all day. I’d never wear anything form-fitting to work.”

“It’s probably not appropriate to do so at work. But after work, get your bad self on!”

“I don’t really know how to do that.”

“If you bought that dress — and I have no relationship with those selling it — I bet you’d find a place to wear it. Maybe out for drinks with gal pals at first. Then when you start dating, it would be perfect for dinner with a great guy. But if you don’t have anything fun and flirty in your closet, it will be hard to get used to wearing something that shows off your assets.”

“I don’t mind showing my legs. But not my arms.”

“You’ve got great legs. And that dress was short enough to showcase them while still being age-appropriate. You don’t have to have bare arms if you don’t want to.”

“It’s a bit of a stretch to wear something sexy.”

“Stretching is good. It can’t be too much or you’ll never wear the dress. But a little stretching is a great way to grow.”

“Thanks. I think I’ll get the dress and find a place to wear it.”

“You go girl! Get your bad self on!”

What do you know you could do to stretch yourself to be and feel a bit sexier? Tell us your stretch goal.
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Assessing Your Assets: Why You’re A Great CatchNot sure how to best spotlight your best attributes? Get Assessing Your Assets: Why You’re A Great Catch.

Category: Dating after 40

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About the Dating Goddess

After her 20-year marriage dissolved, the Dating Goddess dated 91 men in 3.5 years. She shares her lessons, stories and advice for midlife women reentering the dating scene.

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