“I want to court you”

hand holdingThese words are heart melting to a woman who wants love, romance, and a long-term relationship. No other man had said these to me. They were voiced after two weeks of nightly talking for hours about things that were important to each of us. What broke up past relationships, what was important to each of us, what we were looking for in a mate, what made us happy and unhappy.

I was ready to be courted so was delighted when he said it. I interpreted it as he was romantic, wanted to make me happy, and had long-term intentions.

How do you know if you are ready to be courted? He seemed to have so much of what I was looking for. He was funny, smart, accomplished, asked questions no one else seemed to care about, was interested in getting to know the real me. I was ready to fall in love. After many hours of talking on the phone, we seemed so compatible. I was ready to focus on one person, having grown weary of dating around.

Did he court me? Yes. Coming from a 5-hour drive away, we agreed he’d visit my city for a few days. He reserved a hotel room and we met for dinner the first night. We hit it off immediately. We both thought the other was more attractive than the pictures in our profiles. We held hands and cuddled while enjoying a cocktail. We couldn’t take our eyes off each other at dinner. We later strolled to another nice bar and lingered over a night cap, not wanting to let each other go. We felt we’d known each other a long time. He said he hadn’t felt like this in a long, long time. Was this the love I’d been waiting for?

His courtship had begun in earnest. He was doing and saying all the right things.

The next day we enjoyed each other’s company with lots of laughter, deep conversation and cuddling. The following day evolved deliciously with late-morning coffee, exploring art galleries, enjoying the sunset’s flaming sky, and dining at a restaurant we discovered was a favorite for both of us. He was good at spoiling me and having fun.

Did his wooing work? Yes and no. Generally, he was a good date, making sure I had what I needed to make me happy. However, while he was doing all of the above, there were also behavioral gnats gnawing at my patience. Was I being an ingrate for all the time and money he invested in showing me a good time? Was I being too sensitive? Too picky? No one is perfect. Could I live with these minor irritations? I know I have my own set of peculiarities that he would have to adapt to.

We spent a lot of time together over 3 days. When you do, the annoyances mount up. With in-town suitors, you have lunch or dinner together, or spend an afternoon or day in an activity. Then you are apart for a day or more. It gives you a chance to give each other some grace and space. But by spending so much time together in just a few days, the irritants compound.

Will his courtship continue? That is yet to be determined. We both need to decide if the things we enjoy about each other outweigh the burrs. Was there enough positive to invest more time on the phone and in person and see if we can work out the irritations? We will give each other some time to reflect and see what transpires.

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2 responses to ““I want to court you””

  1. Sharon Avatar

    I would say that 3 days are too much. Don’t you agree now?

  2. Dating Goddess Avatar

    When someone comes in from out of town, it is hard to say, “I can see you for an hour today and two hours tomorrow.” You generally want to spend as much time as possible since you know the opportunity is limited.
    I learned a lot by spending 3 days with him. This, no doubt, accelerated the decision we weren’t a good match without prolonging contact over several months.
    This is why I’m not fond of long-distance romances and usually decline interest from those out of town.