As much as I love John Legend, his “Tonight” lyric is indicative of men who over promise and under deliver. If a man brags about his prowess in kissing or sex, you can bet you will be disappointed.
When a man’s online profile claims he’s a great kisser — or more — I immediately sever contact. My experience has proven a man is delusional who brags about any exceptional talent or endowment in a sexual arena. Even if a man doesn’t put his adeptness in writing but shares it verbally, my red flag warning signal goes into action. Hubris does not bode well.
Before I knew better, I’d actually believe a man’s declarations as fact. Only when I was disappointed time and time again, did I figure out the truth — men who are actually stellar at these acts don’t need to boast about it. If they crow, there is a problem. Seems common sense now, but at the time I hadn’t cracked the code.
Not only should you be on guard at anyone who asserts some out-of-the-ordinary finesse, but you should monitor your own profile and verbiage to ensure you aren’t making similar claims. If you declare out-of-the-world kissing skills, you’ll attract a lot of men who want to test you, whether you want to be kissed by them or not.
However, sharing a love of kissing is different than saying you can tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue. A date once asked me if I liked to kiss. I said, “Yes, I love good kissing.” The distinction helped him see that I didn’t like just any kind of kissing — there had to be a quality to it.
What’s your experience with those who declare their extraordinariness in this area? Is it a turn off or turn on? Have you been disappointed more often than pleased?
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If you’d like to understand more about what to look for before even going out with a man, get your copy of Check Him Out Before Going Out: Head Off Dud Dates,