I briefly dated a man who interspersed into our conversations a myriad of questions about my preferences. He asked about my favorite flower, gemstone, color, fabric, musical artist, book genre, movie type, restaurants, foods, thing to do on a sunny day, coffee shop, travel destinations, pet peeves, etc. After a few questions, I asked why he wanted to know. “I’m noting them for future reference. I want to make you happy, so need to know what will do so.”
Wow! No one else has been as overt in his probing for my happiness makers. I was impressed with his diligence. The connection fizzled before he had a chance to deliver on any of this knowledge. But the fact that he was gathering it was a sign that he knew what information to gather and seemed — at least initially — to care about making me happy.
Could he have intended to use this information to manipulate me? Perhaps. But since I’m an interpret-things-positively kinda gal, I wouldn’t assume that unless I saw evidence to support that negative interpretation.
Of course, happiness does not revolve around receiving a favorite flower, as it’s more important how a man speaks to you, is respectful, keeps his word, listens and generally treats you. But if all the right behaviors are in place, it’s added enhancement if he 1) cares enough to know what you like, and 2) provides those things regularly, willingly, and with love. A smart man understands this is part of the ongoing romancing of his sweetie.
Do you collect info on your guy’s favorites? I am less apt to be as overt as the man described above, but I do make note of how he takes his coffee, what he regularly drinks, teams he roots for, etc. If I’m seeing two guys concurrently, I’ll make a note about this information in each man’s file in my Date-A-Base. (It’s too much to remember about multiple men.)
How would you like it if a man was methodical about collecting your preferences? Would you like it or think it was a tad creepy? And how do you go about noting what your guy likes?
Technorati Tags: dating Internet, dating online, senior dating, bbw dating, mature dating, dating over 50, dating over 40, online dating advice, dating after 40, dating after 50, over 40 dating, 40+ dating, dating after forty