Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.

  • “I’m attracted to you” does not mean “I’ll call you”

    Midlife men have said and done many things that caused me to think, “What??? The examples and my lessons fill Embracing Midlife Men: Insights Into Curious Behaviors. Just when I think I have a handle on what goes on in men’s heads, I’m confronted with a new curiosity.

  • How sex is like hot cocoa

    Good hot cocoa and good sex can both be delicious and satisfying. When each is good, it puts a smile on your face. You feel warm and happy afterwards. You often want more. When shared with someone you care about, they are fun and a great way to spend some time and you don’t say […]

  • New guy

    The beginning of getting to know someone is both energizing and frightening. The energy comes from enjoying the conversation and fantasizing about what could be. The frightening part comes from remembering past first encounters that didn’t result in a second. If you found the man appealing and wanted to see him again but he felt […]

  • Scratching his head

    A friend’s 35-year-old son accompanied his father and step-mother to visit me recently. I’d gotten to know him as a young man and he was in town so they wanted us all to catch up. He’s a nice guy, but he has some “issues” most women would have a hard time getting around. As he […]

  • Are you too clingy?

    “Clingy” has different definitions to different people. Some like their space, while others like to be continually touching when together. Others like to show their affection often and in public and some are more reserved.

  • What’s appropriate first-date attire?

    After a few good phone conversations, we agreed to meet for afternoon coffee. It was a beautiful perfect-weather day, so I decided to wear a cute summer outfit.  I spent an hour taking a shower, dressing and getting my cute on. Arriving early, I staked out an outdoor table at the coffee shop. He called […]

  • “Somebody That I Used To Know”

    I love that song by Gotye. I think it encapsulates the lingering hurt many of us feel after an unpleasant breakup. When I first heard the song, I immediately thought the title perfectly reflected my feelings about my ex. I didn’t have the resentment expressed in the lyrics, but the title seemed to fit. However, […]

  • How needy are you?

    You may have heard there’s a new smartphone app named “Yo.” It allows the sender to send a message: Yo. And the responder can respond with “Yo.” That’s it. That’s all it does. Wonder why you’d want such an app?

  • “Keep in touch”

    When one ends a first date, sometimes it’s awkward. You’re not sure if he enjoyed himself as much as you did. You’re waiting for a clue he did. Sometimes it’s in what he says as you’re saying goodbye. “I’d love to see you again,” is a sure sign. “I had a great time and would […]

  • Have we become grumpy old daters?

    As people age, some become happier and more care free, choosing to look at each day as a blessing, and not to sweat small inconveniences. Others seem to focus more on pointing out any inconvenience to those who they think caused it — or anyone within earshot. I’d been told that during my search for […]

  • Travel partner with benefits

    My post-divorce dating has not yielded a beau who liked — or had the means — to travel. I love to travel so have scratched my itch by traveling with or meeting up with friends. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been invited to travel with men, but unfortunately, they’ve been men I haven’t yet met […]

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