Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.

  • Moving from friends to more

    Have you ever had a guy friend-crush? A guy pal who you’d like to be more? But you haven’t flirted or made your interest known because he might already have a wife or girlfriend? Or maybe you’ve been too afraid of ruining the good friendship you have if a romance doesn’t work out?

  • Emotional cheating

    Much has been written about how Facebook has helped end many marriages because people rekindle relationships with old flames. They begin romancing each other through emails, texts and calls until their allegiance to their spouse withers and they have become etionally attached to their new-old flame. Sometimes the damage is done without their actually seeing […]

  • Would you date a man with no libido?

    A pal shared a story of his best friend, Mel, who had some recent health challenges which resulted in him having zero libido. Not just during the treatment of his health problem, but afterward. Prior to this circumstance, Mel’s sex drive had been high. He’s been married to his current wife for about 10 years […]

  • Are you longing to end the quest too soon?

                  Most of the people I talk to about dating want to find “The One” quickly and get the dating roller coaster ride over. They don’t enjoy the process of meeting new people and being disappointed when there isn’t mutual attraction. Or if there is, it doesn’t last long.

  • What does “I’m not ready to be exclusive” mean to you?

    The other day I was helping a newly dating pal navigate dating waters. He’s been dating about 6 months after the breakup of a long-term relationship and was multidating. He’s gone out with one woman multiple times in the last 6 weeks — we’ll call her Amy — and continues to see other women including […]

  • What’s your definition of romantic?

    A 26-year-old pal shared with me that he took his girlfriend around the neighborhood to enjoy the Christmas lights. “She said we don’t do enough romantic stuff and she wanted to do see the lights. So I asked her if this was romantic and she said yes.” I gave him kudos for listening to her […]

  • How new cars are like new men

    A few weeks ago I bought a new car — at least it was new to me. A neighbor was selling his used SUV with very low mileage. I had been thinking it was time to replace my car, but I hadn’t done any research or decided what I wanted. I knew I didn’t want […]

  • Dating as networking

    We typically date with a goal: to find someone with mutual attraction. Some of us also want love and a long-term, committed relationship. Some want marriage. Some want just a fling. After dating a number of people and we don’t have the outcome we want, it can be frustrating. However, if we shift our perspective, […]

  • Instant boyfriend

    I’ve noticed a trend. I don’t know if it’s just me or if it is common. When I’ve met someone online and we’ve exchanged some emails and phone calls, when we meet there’s a sense of familiarity. The meeting seems like a formality, just verifying the other isn’t bizarre looking or socially inept and is […]

  • Is your prattling turning off your dates?

    Blathering. Babbling. Rambling. You hog the air time. Instead of it being a dialog, it’s a monologue. You go on and on, barely taking a breath, not allowing the other to interject anything but “uh huh.” You don’t ask a question. You lose the opportunity to get to know a potentially great mate. You lose […]

  • Dumped by someone below your standards

    When you first meet someone and are deciding whether to see each other again, whether you want to or not, you consciously or unconsciously size each other up. In addition to deciding if you’re attracted to the other, you assess if you are in the same league as the other. This league can be physical […]

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