It seems many people have difficulty with the first phone call. If you are initiating the call, you may procrastinate because you don’t know how to start. Nowadays, men know that some women don’t want to give out their number, so they give her their number. This gives the woman more control over who they…
Dating takes time
I continue to be surprised when people don’t seem to understand that dating takes time. It takes hours to sort through potential matches, contact them, email and talk on the phone. Then there’s an hour to meet them, if just for coffee. Dinner is 2-3 hours. A hike or bike ride, movie, theater, concert, dancing,…
Is that you? Pictures are just a rough facsimile of the real thing
When I was first dating, I wouldn’t respond to someone if their picture wasn’t appealing, even if they sent an articulate, fun email. I also turned down any contact who I couldn’t imagine kissing, based on his picture. I didn’t meet a lot of new guys with these criteria! Now I’ve learned that pics in…
Faux beaus and practice dating
When I first began dating, I was advised to go out with nearly anyone who asked, just to practice. Since I didn't want to take advantage of anyone, I kept these practice dates to coffee. These dates helped me shore up my confidence and hone my skills at talking with men I just met about…
Deciding to see him again or not
Even when there isn’t the immediate physical attraction or chemistry, I’ll sometimes see a guy again to see if there is any underlying spark that needs a second chance to be kindled. If there was nothing odious on the first date, I may try once more. Last night is a good example. The gentleman arrived…
Courage and dating
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” —Anais Nin Last night in a class I’m taking, I briefly shared my story about how I’ve come to reenter the dating world, and how much I’ve learned from many of the men I’ve met. The instructor told me she was awed by the courage I…
From hurt to flirt
When my husband of 20 years left me I was stunned. I didn’t see it coming. After crying in a fetal position for a week, I had a talk with myself. I decided I was going to see if I could turn around the situation into something positive. I had a knack for doing so…
Dating angels
What is a dating angel? No, not the person you are dating — although some of them can be angelic. A dating angel is a stranger who helps you feel good about yourself. Someone who gives you an emotional lift, who flirts with you, or makes you feel attractive. For example, I was sitting at…
Guys make a great first impression with a small gift
The other day I had a first date with a guy who brought me a present — a recent bestselling book he thought I’d like. It was a great gift, as it is in the genre I read and I hadn’t read it yet. Thumbs up! One guy’s first-date gift was a CD of romantic…
Tracking your date’s score
A guy begins with 100 units. He can add to these units by doing good things (e.g., calling when he says he will, being chivalrous, suggesting activities he thinks I’d like, bringing small gifts, remembering info from previous conversations), smiling, making me laugh, having a good vocabulary, using proper grammar, dressing in clean, appropriate clothes,…
Dating as a job interview
Early on, I scoffed when I was told men see dating as a job interview. How could finding love be similar to finding a job? But then a guy recited his resume to me. I learned where and when he went to school, his major, and a litany of his jobs, including dates and companies….