Prince Considerate breaks up — considerately

After dinner and a nice stroll, we settled back in my house for a DVD. But before we could get started, he pulled me to his lap and put his arms around me.

“This is a very hard thing, but I need to say it. I don’t know why, but I’m not finding myself falling in love with you.”

He’d mentioned this a few weeks before, so it wasn’t news. We’d both felt similarly, but knew the other person had a lot of terrific characteristics so thought we should give it a bit more time.

We talked about how neither one of us could understand why we weren’t moving along in the relationship — we both liked, respected and cared for the other. But the loving feelings weren’t developing. We joked that perhaps the other wasn’t dysfunctional enough for us to relate to some old patterns.

He said he felt he needed to bring this up now because we’d planned to spend New Year’s Eve together, and he was feeling out of integrity. He didn’t feel right about acting like we were in a relationship when we weren’t really. While I didn’t feel that celebrating New Year’s Eve together meant we were in a relationship, I didn’t argue.

Of course, the way he brought this up — sensitively, maturely, and respectfully — made me more fond of him. Did it make me love him? No. But I did think, “What a rare emotionally mature man.” Which I already knew, but this was one more example of his being congruent.

I am oddly sad. I don’t fully understand why. It wasn’t as if I was in love with him, either. But it is a loss of his regular presence in my life, his thoughtful and generous gestures, his insightful observations. However, like many of my treasures, we promised to keep in touch.

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5 responses to “Prince Considerate breaks up — considerately”

  1. Elena Avatar

    A few days before Xmas and he drops this. Yuck. Yeah, yeah he was considerate and upfront and honest, but couldn’t he have waited until the new year? Geez. Hopefully you hadn’t bought him a Xmas present yet. 🙂

  2. Dating Goddess Avatar
    Dating Goddess

    Actually, I’m not bothered that this was a few days before Christmas. We hadn’t planned to spend the day together, and I have plenty on my plate before I leave on my trip.

    I’d rather have someone share their truth rather than pretend something they aren’t feeling. Yes, there are instances that timing wouldn’t be good, but generally I’d rather they be authentic. I know I’ve stuck with someone through an event because I wanted to be sensitive to the timing, but then it was more confusing to them.

  3. nysharon Avatar

    I’m so sorry. It is still a loss. You enjoyed his companionship. He was mature and respectful about it. At least you know that there are good ones out there. You will bring something from this experience to the next lucky man. Hugs.

  4. PreviouslyQueenofE Avatar

    Best wishes to you, DG. Even when you know it’s better to acknowledge that love isn’t developing and move on, it isn’t easy, you’re still going to mourn the loss of the dream. Have a wonderful holiday and a fabulous January away!

  5. Rodney Avatar

    Hmm… that sucks, DG. Y’know I wish I had a good friend to offer you to replace him. If only it were that easy, eh?

    Good luck though as you press on, and Merry Christmas anyway. Maybe Santa will leave Mr Right under the tree for you 🙂