If you received a gift in a Tiffany’s box but the corner was mushed, would you be unhappy? If you were given a 2-pound box of your favorite Godiva with the top indented, would you be disappointed? No, of course not. Because you know it’s what’s inside that really matters, not the packaging. Many midlife…
Tag: dating after forty
The worst two words in dating
Here are a few examples of two-words phrases you don’t really want to hear while dating: Comb over Hair plugs Spousal reconciliation I’m married It’s over None of these would be music to your ears. Some of these are worse than the phrase I want to focus on: “I’ve decided…” These two words are…
Do you know what will make you happy?
When dating someone with whom you’ve become enamored, it is easy to project your life into the future. You imagine being intertwined every blissful day, moving in together, perhaps getting married. In this fantasy is embedded perpetual elation, constant joy, unbridled happiness. Wouldn’t it be grand if we could accurately predict such euphoria? Unfortunately, humans…
“Disruption precedes discovery”
Keynote speaker Ian Percy uttered these words as a way to explain that what he was about to say would be disturbing to some of us in the audience. In fact, he said, some of us would not like what he said at all. But his purpose was to shake up our thinking a bit….
Consciously creating the relationship you want
“Don’t let what you’ve created get in the way of what you want to create.” —Jana Stanfield My friend Jana Stanfield, the amazing musical artist, said this as we talked about our somewhat recent singlehood and what we could do with our lives now that we didn’t have a husband about whom to be concerned….
Who are you magnetizing into your life?
Some people believe they attract people into their life. Within reason, I’m one of them. I don’t believe that I attract every person with whom I come in contact, but I do think I’ve had important people come to me, if even for just a few minutes. When that’s happened, there’s been a lesson for…
Failed relationships’ blessings
A friend and I were discussing failed relationships. She said, “It depends on your definition of ‘failed.’ Not all relationships are meant to be long term. Sometimes you are pulled to be with someone for a short time to learn the lessons each of you has to offer the other, then move on.” I saw…
Have you done inner work?
DG reader Tim asked me to address the following, which applies to both genders: I’m 41 and been dating 3 years. Most of the woman I meet assume that they can go from a divorce to another long-term relationship and never work on themselves before doing so. The longer someone is in a bad relationship…
Is he assertive enough for you?
In women’s dating stories of budding relationships gone awry, there are two common themes: The man was too aggressive too early. The man wasn’t assertive enough to say what he needed, or make requests for minor modifications of adaptable behaviors, so he went poof. I think #1 is pretty self-explanatory — he got too physical…
Do you put your dates through tests?
Do you make men jump through some hoops when dating you? What do I mean? Some women will only date a man who: makes the first contact. treats her to dinner at a nice restaurant within the first few dates. sends or brings her flowers within the first few dates. calls her once a day….
“It feels so comfortable”
A gal pal described her relationship with her new beau with this common phrase. We interpret this as it feels right. If it weren’t right, it wouldn’t feel comfortable, right? There are many reasons why being with him could feel comfortable. Perhaps he’s easy going. Maybe he possesses characteristics you find appealing. Possibly he’s got…