I mean this literally — not are you internally talking yourself out of going on a date. For example, recently I had two conversations with a new guy. About 30 minutes into the second conversation, I said I needed to get back to work. He asked if I’d like to get together. I said, “Sure,…
Tag: dating over forty
Special holiday gifts for daters over 40
Got a midlife dater (or would-be dater) on your holiday gift list? Want something special that will add value to your loved one’s life, not get shoved in a drawer or closet? Or maybe you want someone to give YOU a useful and memorable gift! Give one (or more!) of the Adventures in Delicious Dating…
“No wonder he’s single”
You’ve heard people utter this phrase about a hapless dater — or would-be dater. Perhaps you’ve said it yourself after a vexing encounter with a single. And of course, it can be said about either gender. The speaker usually says it after an unpleasant interaction, or even hearing about someone’s clueless behavior. I thought it…
Permission-based dating over 40
My friend Mike Domitrz is the founder of The Date Safe Project™, and author of May I Kiss You? and Help! My Teen Is Dating. In familiarizing myself with his work, I was taken not only by his commitment to helping kids and young adults to date more respectfully, but with the application of his…
How to be hot
No, I am not going to tell you to wear low-cut tops, skin-tight clothes nor mini-skirts. Although that is hot on some women for some men. But that’s not the tip I want to tell you. I’m going to share something I’ve stumbled on in my dating adventure. It may be old hat to you….
The wallet triage
In past postings we have talked about dating’s financial conundrums and how to find balance. We’ve discussed how different financial values and capabilities cause conflict. In dating, whether we realize it or not, we begin to do what was called a “wallet triage” by one of my hospital clients. This distasteful term was used to…
What kind of tree are you?
Spending six days over the holiday with a two-decade-married couple gave me ample opportunity to watch their relationship up close for days on end. Usually when we visit friends or relatives we spend from several hours to a few days with them. When others are around, most of us are on our best behavior. Only…
Belief in a wreath
I recently read about a Lithuanian summer solstice ritual where at midnight unmarried women toss leaf and flower wreaths into rivers. The belief is that their wreath will be pulled out downriver by the man of their dreams. Were it this easy to telegraph to the man of our dreams that we are available and…
The power of appreciation in dating
Many years ago I heard a speaker state that 95% of communication in a romantic relationship should be acknowledgment. In other words, most of what you say to each other should be positive, complimentary and affirmative of the other. This made me look at my own communication with my then husband. I didn’t track the…
Shopping for men
Dating life can be brutal. You make an effort to look nice (I call it getting “dated up”) to meet someone new, then he either doesn’t contact you afterwards, tells you he’s not attracted to you or there’s none of that elusive “chemistry.” You have to have perseverance and hope that someone for you is…