senior dating

It began 9 years ago today. I call it “The Great Awakening.”

Two days earlier we’d returned from a romantic week in a favorite city. We held hands walking in the rain-cleansed park, enjoyed restaurant meals and sight-seeing together, had laughs with friends, and had passionate nights.

He was intermittently moody during the vacation, sometimes walking 20 paces ahead or behind me saying he needed some solitude. I was used to this behavior, as it happened occasionally in our 20-year marriage. It was usually a phase and if I gave him space, he worked it out.

But returning home, he still seemed a bit distant. I asked if anything was wrong and he said no, so I figured he’d get over it soon enough. I fixed one of his favorite meals, and since it was Friday, we usually watched a movie.

As we were finishing dinner, he asked what I’d like to do after dinner, watch a DVD? I said sure.

Then there was a long pause. I’ll remember what he said next for the rest of my life.

You sit comfortably and watch the dishes go by. You pick what looks appealing.

If you’re curious, you look more carefully and read whatever description is provided.

If an interesting one slips by without your snagging it, soon another option appears right in front of you. You don’t even have to move.

In fact, more often than not, the same dish will come back in a little while.

His profile listed his name as “Micheal” (sic). But his first email was signed “Gerald.” When I asked him about the discrepancy, he admitted his name was, indeed, Micheal. He said, “I just didn’t feel it was right to go ahead with my real name at first.”

Didn’t he realize everyone he contacted would see his name was listed as Micheal?

You’ve heard such a being exists. But you have yet to encounter one. Not that you haven’t tried. Relentlessly.

You’ve hunted in the places you’ve heard they frequent. To no avail.

You mean them no harm. You would lavish one with love, affection and devotion if you were just to find one.

I feel  a special connection with Susan Sarandon. Not that I look anything like her nor do I share her movie-star lifestyle. I met her when I was doing some work at Miraval, Oprah’s favorite spa, in the hills north of Tucson, AZ. She was there for a week with her daughter. We chatted a bit in the women’s changing room after our individual spa treatments. She was warm, gracious and down to earth — even dressed in only a bathrobe!
 
She appeared in this week’s People Magazine. In the article, she discusses many topics. I was fascinated by her comments on sexiness at age 65. Of course she doesn’t look how most of us would think 65 looks. Must be those Miraval spa treatments!

When one has been single and dating around for a while, it’s easy to make life choices around that single status. When you don’t have a sweetie, it’s hard to think in terms of “us” and “we” since that isn’t your current situation.

Yet if you are actively seeking a partner you want to make decisions that will be inclusive of having someone regularly in your life.

After swimming in the dating pool for a while, you begin to wonder why some people even say they are “swimming” too. They behave in ways that show they are still on the pond banks, even though they’re acting like they are in the pool.

What do these behaviors look like?

I sent this picture and to a mattress-salesman friend — who’s also a single hunk. I suggested this offer might help him sell more beds.

But aside from my smart alecness, it made me wonder if men saw this exchange similar to dinner and a dalliance. If the man buys the goods (lunch), he then gets the bonus (lovemaking). Buy a woman quiche, get a quickie. Some BBQ gets you a boff. A bit of food yields fornication. Din-din earns sin sin.

When dating, it’s common to get one’s hopes up at the beginnings of a new connection. If things go right at the start, we’re encouraged that the relationship will blossom.

But what if there are hiccups near the beginning? Giving grace is admirable. However, what if there are too many to continue with that forgiving attitude?

It’s upon us again.

Every year in the gloom of winter we fight the unwelcome bulges resulting from over-indulging in holiday treats. We trudge through rain, sleet and/or snow to our commitments, praying Spring will come early as relief.

Just as the world could not seem harder or bleaker, it sneaks up on us and stages an attack. We know we shouldn’t be caught off guard, as it happens every year, at the same time.

What is this dreaded event?

Long-time reader Richard sent me an email posing some interesting issues about how men and women see and need love and respect differently. Here’s part of our exchange.