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Wheels up, ring off

Posted on July 10, 2012September 11, 2012 by Dating Goddess

This is the motto for some married travelers. They see solo journeys as an opportunity to cheat.

Of course, cheaters don’t need to be away from home to be opportunistic. One can cheat with one’s next door neighbor if one wants. A new friend shared that her now ex-fiancé had another fiancée 5 miles from her house — concurrent with her engagement.

During my recent two-week Turkey sojourn I was aware of the many chances to explore a fling if I desired. Waiters and shop keepers seemed particularly willing. They have a steady supply of potential romp-mates. My 53-year-old travel partner accepted a maître d’s offer for a make out session. He would have liked more. We have no idea if he’s married.

For some, being away from home releases them from any vow of monogamy. It’s easier to have a dalliance when they don’t have to worry about running into someone they know. They make a practice of trolling hotel bars for lonely, susceptible singles.

I succumbed to a pseudo-liaison while on a week-long ski trip soon after becoming engaged. My now-ex didn’t ski so I went with a group from a previous job. I had no intention of cheating when the trip began, but a friend of one of our group showered me with attention and pampering and wore me down by week’s end. As the days passed, my then-fiance’s hold on me weakened — along with my ability to resist the consistent wooing. When I returned home, I vowed — and kept the vow — to never dally again.

How do you know if the man you’re dating is of the “wheels up ring off” ilk? You may never know. Unlike if you are married or living with someone, you don’t have access to credit card bills or other telltale evidence. (Although there are plenty of married cheaters who cover their indiscretions.)

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After her 20-year marriage dissolved, the Dating Goddess dated 91 men in 3.5 years. She shares her lessons, stories and advice for midlife women reentering the dating scene.

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