I had a hot and heavy relationship with a man I dated for 5 months. It was one of those instant chemistry situations and after our second date we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We saw each other once a week, sometimes for several days, even though he lived less than an hour…
Dating after 40
Are you afraid to speak up for fear of losing him?
I’m amazed at the number of accomplished, assertive, confident midlife women who confide in me a problem with the their dating relationship. The common sense solution is to talk to their guy about it. However, many of these women seem squeamish at this prospect. When I ask why, they respond, “I’m afraid of losing him.”
The trophy beau
When a trophy wife or girlfriend is mentioned, it is often with derision and cattiness. We think of a beautiful, but often empty-headed woman attached to a rich, powerful, often older, unattractive man. But what if you’re dating an attractive man? Not just a man you think is attractive, as we know a man’s attractiveness…
Examining your concessions
When you’ve been with someone for a while, you’ve made compromises based on his preferences. In a healthy, nurturing, loving relationship, each person makes some adjustments to better get along with or please our partners. If you’ve been together for years, these concessions become habits. You may not realize you even do them for him…
The un-date
I am in SE Asia this week, having spoken to a conference in Jakarta earlier and am now in Penang, Malaysia, where I did a presentation Friday. I connected with a friend of a friend who offered to show me the island of Penang on Saturday. She had a conflict at the last minute and…
“If you could see you thru my eyes”
In the film version of “Cabaret,” Joel Grey sings, “If You Could See Her.” This song extols his love for an unconventional female — a gorilla dressed as a woman. He sees her charm and beauty even though he knows these virtues are not easily seen by others. The lyrics say, “If you could see…
When the student is ready, the date will appear
I bet you know the Buddhist proverb, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” This is true in dating as well as other areas of one’s life. We don’t usually think of people in our lives as our teachers, but they are. This is true for our dates too.
Step up or step aside
You have agreed to be exclusive with your beau. But he is not providing all he’s agreed to when you each articulated your needs to be exclusive. You’ve reminded him of the things you said you needed and he said he’d provide. He acknowledges he knows. He does not say he can’t give you these…
What’s your definition of “independent”?
The term “independent woman” is often seen in men’s profiles who seek self-sufficient women. It is their way of saying they want a woman who has a life of her own, interests, friends, a career and sufficient income. They don’t want someone who is clingy, reliant on them for all entertainment and definitely not someone…
How dating sex is like waffles
It can be hot, steamy and mouth watering. With a great recipe and tasty condiments, it can be delectable. But just as with the first waffle, the first time with a new love can also be anemic and unsatisfying. In fact, many midlife daters report the initial romp to be less fulfilling than they hoped….
“He wants you on his terms”
An older, wiser gal pal and I were talking about relationships, and specifically the one I was in at the time. I was sharing that I loved, loved, loved being with my guy, but his contact between dates every 7-10 days was intermittent, and he didn’t set future dates beyond the next day. This was…