“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.” ~Native American prayer Since it’s Thanksgiving week here in the US, this quote held significance for not only giving thanks for treasures already in our lives — our families, bounty and life — but also for dating. One of the fun things about dating is not…
Dating after 40
“The Bachelor” mirrors real life
Before you say, “DG, are you crazy? The Bachelor is totally contrived,” hear me out. I’m not saying it’s not artificial, nor that much of it parallels real life. In fact, I admit to only watching 2 episodes this season, and none of any previous season. I mean having 25 women live in a mansion…
“Men aren’t trained in emotions”
Not exactly a news flash. But since this was uttered by a midlife male pal who I adore, I wanted to hear more on his perspective. He’s been dating about 3 years after his divorce from a long-term marriage. We were talking about why it’s so hard for a man to tell a woman he…
Giving and receiving emotional support
“My ex-girlfriend wanted me to support her emotionally, but she didn’t do the same in return,” my sweetie shared. “Hmm. I’m not sure I’d know the signs that someone was wanting emotional support unless they were crying or upset. What are the signs you want or need emotional support?” I asked. “Good question. I don’t…
Is your guy “spoilable”?
We’re usually more concerned with dealing with a man who is spoiled — self-centered, immature, and thoughtless. Ditch those guys immediately. I’m talking about the opposite — someone who is so other-focused that it is hard for him to receive. Most of us — at least me — like to be spoiled once in a…
Easy way to ask hard questions
Some people find it difficult to ask probing questions to uncover their date’s values, beliefs and preferences. Enter Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers To Be, a book designed to help you easily dive into potentially difficult conversational waters. The book is designed to be used by both of you. It is broken up…
Where are you on the relationship recovery path?
DG reader Devon wrote: All divorced people are in a different place along the post-divorce road. I met someone wonderful last summer, attraction, chemistry, great sex, good conversation and we had fun. It lasted 3 months, I was ready for a companion, he was still recovering from the break up of his family and the…
Paranoid or observant?
You’ve been dating around for a few years, having second dates or more with a dozen or so men. You have enough experience under your belt to notice that in the past there’s been a shift of behavior that has preceded a guy’s going poof or breaking up with you. There’s a change in something…
Is your attitude toward dating sex the same as with diets?
You’ve decided to hold off sex with the guy you’re dating until you both feel the relationship is solid. Yes, you’ve made this decision before, only to watch it crumble as you have been swept away physically by his predecessors. But this time it’s different. You want to keep your word to yourself. You want…
Friends with benefits — yes or no?
A DG reader, who wished not to be named, wrote: An attractive, charming and very-much-younger out-of-town male friend with whom I talk on the phone every few months for hours recently realized I have been celibate since deciding to divorce a few years ago. He was profoundly shocked and decided that on his next visit…
Why are we drawn to bad boys?
They are like forbidden foods when we are on a diet. They pull us toward them, no matter how much self-control we try to have. We work to resist, but their beckoning becomes too much for us. We succumb to their wiles. What is it about bad boys — who are, of course, really midlife…