According to my blog reports, this is a phrase many people search when finding this blog.
I only wish I had the answer.
It is much easier to identify how he shows he’s not interested, as I detailed in “Signs that he won’t be asking for a second date.”
But knowing he is interested? That’s a whole different story. And one I don’t feel particularly adept at deciphering.
For example, last week I had a first date with a guy. We’d had a few email exchanges and a nice phone conversation. He seemed engaged during dinner, asking me questions, keeping eye contact and sharing his stories and feelings. We occasionally touched the other’s hands when we talked. We strolled around the shopping area after dinner, but didn’t hold hands.
At my car he hugged me goodbye and planted a kiss on my lips. There was no talk of a second date, we just said we enjoyed ourselves and went our separate ways. I was ambiguous about seeing him again, but decided to try some recently read advice and try a second date, if he wanted. I wrote him a nice thank you email and suggested we might do another outing.
He wrote back a nice email telling me he enjoyed meeting me but there was no spark for him and asked if we could be pals.
So while there were no flashing green lights that he was interested in me, there were no red lights saying he wanted out of there during dinner. And why would you kiss someone on the lips if you had no interest in them? Was it a test to see if I’d play tonsil hockey with him? It was just a quick smack.
Before I’ve experienced conflicting signals like this, I’d say “Duh. He emails you regularly. He calls you every few days. He says nice things about you. He asks you to do things with him. He talks about doing future things with you. He touches you respectfully. Maybe he kisses you and/or brings you flowers or small gifts.”
But we know that someone could do all of these things and not want a relationship with you, just a booty call. So how is a gal to know how to interpret these things?
I wish I knew.
Any hints you’ve picked up during a first date that are reliable signs a guy is interested?
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