After my latest breakup, I decided to get to the bottom of why I would stay in a relationship that wasn’t meeting my needs and put up with behaviors I wouldn’t accept from a friend, let alone a beau. I’ve engaged the help of a psychologist friend, Ben, to help me root out the cause…
Tag: mature dating
Dodging a bullet
I’m becoming pickier as I date longer. In the beginning I’d have coffee with nearly anyone who asked, as long as he was polite, could spell reasonably well in his profile and emails, and didn’t curse or get sexual. However, now that the thrill has worn off of meeting an avalanche of new men, I’m…
Where have all the good men gone?
Just as the song “Where Have All the Flowers Gone” mourns the disappearance of things that are important to us, my gal pal bewailed her experience not finding interesting eligible bachelors. She said, “Where are the dynamic men — like me? Where are the funny men — like me? Where are the adventurous men —…
How is your guy imprinted on you?
When you are besotted by a guy you begin to associate him with things related to him. His cologne, style of shirts, favorite musical artists or songs, car make and color, even most-liked foods are imprinted in your brain as markers for him. Which is great when things are going well. When you see something…
You never know who’ll flirt with you
One of the funnest things about the dating adventure is who you meet serendipitously. It’s part of the allure of dating — you never know when a treasure will show up in your in box flirting with you. This week I’ve had an encounter that even if it goes nowhere, is still very fun for…
When canceling is the right thing to do
You were contacted online by a man who lives 75 minutes away. You exchange a few emails; you have a nice phone conversation. You accept his coffee invitation for a few days hence, agreeing to meet half way. You think about the conversation for a few days, realizing he disclosed a few things that make…
The stealth date
I went out with a delightful man three times while King Charming and I were broken up for a few weeks some months ago. When KC and I decided to get back together, I told this man the news. Since we are in the same field and I liked his personality, I asked if we…
Rejection is protection
In response to a friend asking how I was doing, I told him of my most recent breakup experience — how cavalierly and insensitively my now-ex beau communicated his decision. I told my friend that despite my focusing on all the ways this man treated me disrespectfully, I was having a heck of a time…
The sticky side of honey do’s
A past beau called the little chores he did for me around my house “honey dues” and implied they were the dues men paid to make their woman happy. I’ve generally thought it was sweet and loving when a man offered or agreed to help with small household jobs that I either couldn’t do alone…
Have you become exclusive too soon?
You’ve been dating a man for 2 months. There have been some issues to work out, but generally you really like the man. A discussion of exclusivity comes up. You each share what you need from a relationship to be exclusive and the other agrees to try to provide it, or if you know you…
Glass half full or empty?
On a first date, a man asked if I was a glass-half-full or half-empty kind of gal. Although a tad trite, no one else had asked directly if I was optimistic or pessimistic. I wondered who would admit to the latter, although I know some are attracted to others who share a negative world view….