A man I dated for a while expressed his attraction to me in an interesting way: “You have whip appeal.” Huh? I’ve heard of men being “whipped” by their woman, and it is not a thing most men would admit to. In fact, a man’s pals may tease him about being “whipped” if he seems…
Tag: mature dating
Do you let hunky men get away with more?
You may answer, “No. A man has to treat me right or he’s out of my life, no matter how handsome he is.” Or perhaps you realize that good looks do buy some good will, often more than is warranted. It isn’t something most of us are proud to admit, but yes, we do allow…
When breaking up is taking a stand
You’ve stayed with him because it is magical when you are with him. He treats you like a queen. You have interesting conversations. He makes you laugh. And when you touch — electricity. You know this combination is rare, so you’ve put up with the parts that aren’t great. But your needs aren’t being met….
Closure is a good thing
This morning I received an IM from my most recent ex-beau apologizing for having hurt and disappointed me. It allowed me to have closure, even though I had already released him in my mind and moved on. But actual closure, if done sanely, maturely and with care, has value even though closure just in your…
What’s his inclination to work things out?
Bemoaning to a psychologist friend the tale of a recent particularly jarring breakup, he said, “You need to ask better questions early on.” He was right. I thought I was reasonably good about asking important questions, but I hadn’t asked the one he suggested. I painfully learned that my beau of many months had no…
You learn a lot about a man by how he breaks up
A man discloses volumes during a dating relationship, but most revealing is how he breaks up. It’s almost a shame that there isn’t a break up early on as you’d see how he treats you. If a man breaks up via text, IM, or email, I know he’s a coward, afraid to have a mature…
Hamstrung by your own integrity
Early in your relationship you both promised that if there was ever anything that bothered one of you so much to consider breaking up, that one would have the respect and courtesy to share this in person or at least on the phone, not in an email, text, IM or voice mail. Having been broken…
Does he want in your life — or just in your bedroom?
I had a hot and heavy relationship with a man I dated for 5 months. It was one of those instant chemistry situations and after our second date we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We saw each other once a week, sometimes for several days, even though he lived less than an hour…
Are you afraid to speak up for fear of losing him?
I’m amazed at the number of accomplished, assertive, confident midlife women who confide in me a problem with the their dating relationship. The common sense solution is to talk to their guy about it. However, many of these women seem squeamish at this prospect. When I ask why, they respond, “I’m afraid of losing him.”
The trophy beau
When a trophy wife or girlfriend is mentioned, it is often with derision and cattiness. We think of a beautiful, but often empty-headed woman attached to a rich, powerful, often older, unattractive man. But what if you’re dating an attractive man? Not just a man you think is attractive, as we know a man’s attractiveness…
Examining your concessions
When you’ve been with someone for a while, you’ve made compromises based on his preferences. In a healthy, nurturing, loving relationship, each person makes some adjustments to better get along with or please our partners. If you’ve been together for years, these concessions become habits. You may not realize you even do them for him…
