“Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.” —Sophia Loren
In my online profile, I used to describe myself as sexy. I took it out. Why? I realized that while I feel I am sexy, it is totally subjective. What if the guy doesn’t find me sexy? Will he doubt other things I say?
What is sexiness? To me it is a confidence, a strong sense of self, not arrogance. It doesn’t have to do with body size or shape or facial beauty. I’ve known people who were sexy but not particularly physically attractive. A friend of mine is a burn victim, having scars over most of his body, including his face. Yet he is a babe magnet. I rarely see him without a beautiful woman — or several — surrounding him. He’s been married three times!
Do you think you are sexy? If so, do you allow it to show? Do you wear clothes that show off the best parts of your body without looking slutty? Do you smile, flirt and play with men? Does your walk show confidence? Do you put your best foot forward in public? These all contribute to that mysterious “sexiness.”
What do you think is sexy in men? I am partial to easy smiles, long-sleeved shirts with the sleeves rolled up, a great fitting suit with an impeccably tied tie (small knot), goatees, good posture, a tuft of chest hair peeking out of an open-collared neckline, intelligence, humor, kindness, strong biceps and chivalry. I once went out with a man because a pic in his profile showed him with a great smile and biceps the size of my thighs. (OK, nothing is as big as my thighs, but you get the picture. Unfortunately, the in-person version was not as enticing as the picture.)
Describe what you think is sexy. This is not all the attributes of your perfect mate, but what you find sexy. If it is personified in Richard Gere, Taye Diggs, or Tom Cruise, what is it that makes them sexy to you? When you articulate it clearly, it will be easier to spot. Don’t cop out with “I know it when I see it.”
Technorati Tags: dating Internet, dating online, senior dating, bbw dating, mature dating, dating over 50, dating over 40, online dating advice, dating after 40, dating after 50, over 40 dating, 40+ dating, dating after forty