“When I was a young man, I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her — but alas, she was waiting for the ideal man.” —Robert Schuman
It has been said that first dates are like job interviews, with both sides interviewing for the other’s position of “sweetheart/lover/mate.” While most have done some work listing the characteristics of their perfect mate — the candidate’s qualifications, they don’t usually list their expectations — the actual job description.
Since I am starting to see a new guy who interviews and hires people for a living, I decided to put our relationship in his language — a job description. However, since he’s out of town, I thought I’d practice on a guy who lives out of the area, but calls me regularly.
I told him I wanted to play a game with him. He said fine. I said “Mr. X, I understand there is an opening for Mr. X’s girlfriend. What are the candidate’s requirements and the job description?”
He laughed. “Well, she needs to be smart, beautiful on the inside, and fun.”
“Hmm. What about beautiful on the outside? You have to be attracted to her, right?
“Yes. But if she’s beautiful on the inside, that will come through.”
“No requirements for body shape or height? Most men have some preferences here.”
“I’m a leg man. I like good legs.”
“Beyonce,” he said firmly. “Cameron Diaz’ legs are too skinny.”
“What about touch? Do you like touch?”
“There’s touch and then there’s Touch. The latter needs to be behind closed doors.”
And on we went. I found it helpful to clarify what he meant about nebulous words. I shared what I was looking for in my guy’s job description. But I realized that I, like most people, had clearly written the candidate’s characteristics (tall, smart, funny, nice looking, active, chivalrous, accomplished), but I hadn’t written the job description. I have been gathering parts of the list in my head, but will flush out what I’ve begun to notice I like and want.
Job description of the Goddess’s perfect boyfriend
Seeking self-starting, action-oriented, smart, fun, playful, tall (6’0″+), physically active man, age 47-60, wanted for long-term relationship with tall, affectionate, fun, smart, playful, accomplished, thoughtful, feisty, positive Goddess. This Goddess is considered one of the top “catches” by many and few make it past the first interview. The top candidate will receive benefits far beyond what most others offer and these will be fully disclosed to the top qualified candidates. They include lots of kissing, caressing, cuddling and more, passion, understanding, respect, kindness, fun activities, home-cooked meals, laughter, support of your endeavors, positive attitude and feedback.
The job entails:
- Treating the Goddess like someone loved and cherished. This includes, but is not limited to, talking every day, being chivalrous (opening doors, etc.), romance (sweet talk, compliments, planning outings, flowers, surprises).
- Working out any disagreements, rather than clamming up or disappearing.
- Being loyal and not seeking other women.
- Being a passionate and giving lover who also openly receives. Great kissing required.
- Giving grace if the Goddess does something he initially interprets as negative.
- Sharing feelings about life and our relationship on a regular basis.
- Working to continually improve himself and his environment.
- Living his life with personal integrity, including but not limited to, doing what he says he will, calling when he promises, doing what’s right, not necessarily what’s easy.
- Having the courage to bring up difficult topics, and engaging maturely when the Goddess does the same.
- Being financially mature and responsible.
- Consciously taking care of his body so he is healthy and active.
- Laughing at the Goddess’s attempts to be funny.
- Socializing willingly and pleasantly in groups or with friends, both his and hers.
- Planning outings like dancing, foreign films, dinners out, theater, parties, concerts, and other activities both enjoy. Initiating plans for events he thinks the Goddess would like, proposing them, and then arranging for the tickets, etc.
- Participating in physical activities together (biking, hiking, walking, dancing) or alone (working out, running, golf, other sports). Regular physical activity a must.
I may just email these to prospective suitors before we meet and see if they’re interested in the job!