Do you remember the TV show, “Let’s Make a Deal“? TV.com describes it as “a game of intuition, skill, luck, decision making and greed…all mixed into one.” Sounds like dating, doesn’t it? Maybe not the greed part, unless a gold digger is involved.
I was thinking about this show as I was comparing several men I’d met online and deciding who to release and who to keep seeing. It reminded me of host Monty Hall offering contestants the opportunity to trade their winnings for whatever was behind doors number 1, 2 or 3. Often they didn’t know what their current prize was — say a wallet filled up to $10,000 cash. Nor did they know what was hidden behind various doors, boxes and curtains being offered for exchange. Monty made the choice harder by sharing the big prize hidden behind one of the doors. Maybe it was behind the door you chose.
Or perhaps it would be a “zonk” — giant shoes, a goat, rusting 19th-century appliances, a washtub for each day of the week, 1 ton of watermelons, a giant rocking horse, sequin-covered garbage cans, etc.
So it is with dating. When dating someone early on, you really don’t know what “prize” you have in hand as you don’t yet know him very well. But the Siren call of the never-ending stream of online potential suitors is alluring. Interesting men regularly appear in your in-box winking, flirting, or emailing. At some point you have to decide whether to keep the “prize” you already have or exchange him for a tempting, but unknown, “prize.” Or at least he appears tempting behind the email veil. Occasionally, he’s a zonk.
Of course that is why some of us multi-date. Then we can take a peek at both (or more) prizes simultaneously. You can see which one is most valuable (most like what you want) before you let go of the lessor-desirable one.
I know, this is offensive to some people. They feel you don’t really give one guy a chance if you are seeing two (or more) concurrently. Some feel you are trying to have your cake and eat it too. Some label a woman who multi-dates as slutty.
Since I do it, I don’t think it’s offensive or slutty. It is a form of hedging your bets. A savvy gambler always hedges her bets so she is more likely to take home some winnings rather than wager on only one option and leave empty handed. Unless she feels it is a sure bet — which is when you decide a man has the potential to be a long-term partner. Then you don’t bet on others.
Are you a “Let’s Make a Deal” type of dater? Do you balance two or more men to hedge your bets? If not, what is your feeling about those who do?