Maybe you’re like me and have attended a lot of seminars. Perhaps some of these have been personal-growth workshops. After taking a bunch of them, you realize you can design a lot of the activities yourself. If you are a good student, you see that you don’t really need someone else to design the processes…
Dating after 40
Good first-date advice from a gay man
The following was written by Brian Rzepczynski, “The Gay Love Coach” but the concepts apply to heterosexual relationships as well. I thought his concepts were so good, I wanted to share them with you (with his permission). Change the gender references to what fits for you. “The First Date: Assessing His Boyfriend Potential” You sit…
Is he emotionally mature?
I was sharing with Prince Considerate that many midlife women complain that the men they date are lacking emotional availability. “Do you mean emotional availability or emotional maturity?” he asked. “Hmm,” I responded, “I’m not sure I can define the difference. From the brief research I did on the ‘Net, it seems emotional unavailability is…
Looking for a connection
“I’ve had a lot of sex in my life. I’m looking for a connection. Sex is an important element in a long-term relationship, but it’s not the only important thing.” My jaw was agape as I heard him share his philosophy. I admit it. I’ve come to expect the polar opposite from midlife men in…
Can an ambitious gal find happiness with a lackadaisical guy?
Bev, a DG reader, shared: I met a guy a couple months ago, and I really like him. He is everything I could possibly ask for, except for one thing, he doesn’t work. He is only 43 and on a pension. He told me that he was ill for two years and has not worked…
Prince Considerate
Many women refer to their perfect man as Prince Charming. We want someone who is likable and knows what to say to get along with others. But charm can also be shallow, knowing what to say without really meaning it. And he could be charming to others but lose that capacity with you. I grew…
The spooky side of dating
There are ghouls, goblins and other scary creatures lurking in the dating world, so beware of these potential nightmares: The undead guy who shows up looking like he’s wearing a mask of someone decades older than his online photo. The wolfman who morphs from gentleman to masher once the sun — and a drink or…
When should you disclose any, er, unusual preferences?
I was once contacted by a man who said in his profile that he was “slightly kinky.” When I asked what he meant exactly, he said he’d explain in person. He was a perfect gentleman on the phone and in emails, so I thought it was worth a coffee meeting to find out. I’ve learned…
Gently telling him you want to be friends
A DG reader sent this question: Any ideas on how to gently let a good man go? I had several dates with a kind, intelligent, respectful man. We had much in common but by the third date it occurred to me that what we had was friendship, not a romantic attraction. He had different feelings…
Advice from sister-surrogate sages
Having lunch with two friends, both 16 years my senior, we were discussing relationships. They asked about my love life, always wanting an update on the soap opera of my dating situation. One had been married nearly 50 years, the other was a divorcée from a 30-year marriage. I often bounced my relationship dilemmas off…
Even eye candy isn’t good if you’re allergic
Last night, a date and I went to a Halloween party. The room was filled with scantily clad, hard-bodied beautiful people in provocative costumes. I tried to fit in with a comparably sedate, decidedly more understated attempt at a dominatrix. While I felt comfortable in my costume, even with my chubby, fishnet-encased legs flowing from…