“Don’t let what you’ve created get in the way of what you want to create.” —Jana Stanfield My friend Jana Stanfield, the amazing musical artist, said this as we talked about our somewhat recent singlehood and what we could do with our lives now that we didn’t have a husband about whom to be concerned….
Dating after 40
Who are you magnetizing into your life?
Some people believe they attract people into their life. Within reason, I’m one of them. I don’t believe that I attract every person with whom I come in contact, but I do think I’ve had important people come to me, if even for just a few minutes. When that’s happened, there’s been a lesson for…
In boyfriend you trust?
A gal pal shared a concern about her boyfriend of two months. “He’s still has a very strong relationship with both his ex-wife and his last girlfriend. He’s been apart from his ex-girlfriend a year after a year-long relationship. And he’s been divorced from his ex-wife three years after a two-year marriage. “His ex-girlfriend comes…
Review of “Shopping for Mr. Right”
Shopping for Mr. Right…because you don’t have time for another Mr. Wrong by Marsha Petrie Sue My friend Marsha Petrie Sue wrote this 125-page book based on her experience — and frustrations — looking for a partner after her first marriage ended. She illustrates her lessons learned with her own stories as well as those…
Failed relationships’ blessings
A friend and I were discussing failed relationships. She said, “It depends on your definition of ‘failed.’ Not all relationships are meant to be long term. Sometimes you are pulled to be with someone for a short time to learn the lessons each of you has to offer the other, then move on.” I saw…
Have you done inner work?
DG reader Tim asked me to address the following, which applies to both genders: I’m 41 and been dating 3 years. Most of the woman I meet assume that they can go from a divorce to another long-term relationship and never work on themselves before doing so. The longer someone is in a bad relationship…
Happy Dating Independence Day
I don’t think the US government will change the name of this day, but I think we can add to the meaning of Independence Day to extend to a healthy philosophy about dating. It could mean that you are declaring your independence from dating. You’re going to stop hunting, remove yourself from dating sites and…
Is he assertive enough for you?
In women’s dating stories of budding relationships gone awry, there are two common themes: The man was too aggressive too early. The man wasn’t assertive enough to say what he needed, or make requests for minor modifications of adaptable behaviors, so he went poof. I think #1 is pretty self-explanatory — he got too physical…
Do you put your dates through tests?
Do you make men jump through some hoops when dating you? What do I mean? Some women will only date a man who: makes the first contact. treats her to dinner at a nice restaurant within the first few dates. sends or brings her flowers within the first few dates. calls her once a day….
“It feels so comfortable”
A gal pal described her relationship with her new beau with this common phrase. We interpret this as it feels right. If it weren’t right, it wouldn’t feel comfortable, right? There are many reasons why being with him could feel comfortable. Perhaps he’s easy going. Maybe he possesses characteristics you find appealing. Possibly he’s got…
Marketing 101 for dating
Today I was strolling down the fresh men aisle at my favorite dating site. No one was enticing enough to pick off the shelf and examine more closely. I wasn’t even drawn to read any labels (profiles). What was wrong? Lack of marketing. With very few exceptions, online daters don’t know how to get people…