Sate: satisfy (a desire or an appetite) to the full; supply (someone) with as much as or more of something than is desired or can be managed. You know not to grocery shop when you are hungry as you’ll be tempted to take home things that aren’t really good for you. The same is true…
Moving on graciously
Being “thrown under the bus”
This is a common term in the dating world to express a breakup. At the end of a relationship, you are either the one being thrown or the one doing the throwing. Neither image is a pleasant one. When I suggest my sweetie is going to throw me under the bus, he cringes at the…
Should you respond to someone about whom you’re ambivalent?
You receive a nice, personalized email from a man on a dating site. He’s crafted an message specific to you, commenting on items from your profile. His profile is fine, but something is a borderline deal breaker. You vacillate whether to respond with your nice boilerplate “Thanks but no thanks” email, or to encourage more…
Should you seek feedback on why it didn’t work out?
I’m sometimes asked why my multi-week relationships didn’t work out. If the guy released me, I don’t really know so can only guess. I’ve been asked, “What did the guy say when he broke up with you?” The truth is, most of them have just gone poof, even after seeing each other 5-7 weeks. Very…
Is he crazy — or are you?
They fell quickly and hard. Within 2.5 weeks of meeting, they were exchanging I love yous. They spent every weekend together and most weekday nights. They were sure they’d found their soul mates. The sex was frequent and fantastic. Then something shifted. They started fighting frequently. She was often late to their assignations — sometimes…
How to detect the end is near
Many midlife women have shared that they are blindsided, as I have been, when a man breaks up with them or just disappears. We are curious what signs we missed that the end was coming. Here are a few things I and others have noticed in retrospect. He starts acting jerky. A friend shared with…
Don’t send flowers with a kiss-off email
I heard about a service called DumpADate.com. Their tag line is “When it’s time to dump your date.” Now I think this is a dumb concept. It offers a service where you can email or write your intended ex-sweetie and they will deliver the message. What, picking up the phone, writing your own email or…
When a man tells you what he paid for things
For two months I dated a man who told me what he paid for his Mercedes ($85,000), his Ferragamo shoes ($450), his Persian rug ($1400), his Rolex ($10,000), and his son’s PlayStation ($600), among other items. He was a wealthy man who spent less than $100 total on our weekly dates. This got me wondering…
It’s moving day!
Lately, some DG readers have shared their unwillingness to move on from a love gone sour. Sometimes they know they need to, but can’t seem to cut that last emotional thread that leaves them feeling debilitated and unable to get on with their lives. Others seem to relish wallowing in retelling how the last guy…
Allow him to change his mind
I hear women complain about guys who suggest future plans or verbalize their affection in the early stages of dating. Then these women are irritated, nay angry, when the guy disappears. It is easy to do and I’ve found myself doing it, too. Instead of labeling the guys “liars,” “jerks,” “losers,” and “snakes,” why not…
Releasing revenge
In a seminar I was leading, a customer service provider was irritated by the rude customers she dealt with daily. “I want to know how to get back at them,” she demanded of me. When someone has wronged us, it is common to want revenge. When a man has led us on, then unceremoniously dumped…