When we are not the one who ends a relationship, even a short-term dating relationship, it usually stings. Being on the receiving end of the boot with a longer-term, intimate relationship often creates wounds that last for years. No matter how much we work to accept it — and in some cases welcome it —…
Moving on graciously
How to trump being dumped
To trump: outshine, outclass, upstage, eclipse, surpass, outdo, outperform; beat, better, top, cap; be a cut above, be head and shoulders above, leave standing. Yesterday, a new friend told me he’d been dumped by his last sweetheart, and was still stinging from it many months later. Me: What was the reason for the breakup? He:…
Men behaving badly
I rarely talk about “bad” dates, because if a date doesn’t work out, it just wasn’t meant to be. No use lingering on what didn’t work or what an unpleasant experience it was. When people hear I’ve written a book about midlife dating (now in my literary agent’s hands to sell), many immediately say, “I…
Teed off by weekend getaway with golf addict
In “Before agreeing to a weekend getaway, clarify expectations,” I told you of a weekend “romantic” getaway with a man I’d seen occasionally over seven months. A week before the outing, he sprang on me that he planned to golf Saturday. I was not pleased, but was willing to be a good sport, under the…
What’s your need for closure?
Do you need closure after you stop dating a guy? If you decide to end it with him, do you feel better if you let him know, rather than not returning calls or emails? If he decides to end it, do you want to have a final conversation, not just get an email or him…
Get back on the horse that threw you
After a distasteful or painful dating experience, it’s tempting to stop dating for a while. In fact, some people find a heartbreaking experience so odious that they swear off dating for years. While it’s a good idea to take a break to heal your wounds, if you go too long you lose your rhythm. You…
The choice: Break up or spend the weekend together
My friend shared his dilemma and his choice. A woman he’d seen a few times wanted to drive 2.5 hours from her home to see him. While he thought she had many wonderful characteristics, he knew they were not a long-term match. He said, “I knew I had to break up with her then on…
Managing disappointments
Dating can take an emotional toll. You get your hopes up when it seems someone is a great match. Even when you try to manage them, expectations creep in. You start having hopes, perhaps fantasizing about a future together. Then something happens that dashes it all. A deal breaker emerges. A total impasse. Something one…
Cleaning out the suitors
Sometimes too much of a good thing is not wonderful, as Mae West said it was. Instead it can be time consuming. Too many potential suitors can mean it’s time to release some back into the dating pool. Today I had dates with two new guys — one for lunch, one for coffee. Additionally, I…
Dating’s revolving door
Some of my friends tease me about the revolving door of my dating life. It is true that men come and go through my life, some rather quickly, others lingering longer. (See “They come, they go.”) My pals have asked “Why? Why don’t more men stick around?” Good question. Some have. But I think I’ve…
Toad rage
You know I don’t label any of the men I’ve gone out with as losers, frogs, toads, jerks, freaks, geeks, dweebs, nerds or cads. However, every once in a while, I come in contact with someone who acts immaturely — or toadlike. This was the case with a man who emailed me but didn’t really…