I briefly dated a man who interspersed into our conversations a myriad of questions about my preferences. He asked about my favorite flower, gemstone, color, fabric, musical artist, book genre, movie type, restaurants, foods, thing to do on a sunny day, coffee shop, travel destinations, pet peeves, etc. After a few questions, I asked why…
Real deal or faux beau
Avoid frivolous talk on a date
Frivolous: unworthy of serious attention; trivial; of little value. One of the consistent complaints men make about women is their incessant talking. And it’s just not that there is no silence. But women more than men talk and talk and talk about things of no consequence to the men. In fact, she will go into…
What’s your need for affiliation?
A friend shared with me the concept of people having different needs for affiliation — how much “people contact” they need. As you would guess, some have a very low need for affiliation — someone like the Unabomber who is content to live like a hermit with human contact only a few times a year,…
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Otis Redding wrote it. Aretha Franklin belted it. The song says all the writer/singer wants is respect from his/her partner. Just a little respect. Have you ever felt someone you were dating for a while didn’t respect you? Maybe he chastised you, second guessed you or told you your actions or decisions were wrong? Or…
Try a heart share
A common complaint from women is they can’t get their guy to open up — to share his innermost thoughts, fears, and dreams. This is difficult to do for many people, women as well as men. During my marriage, I learned a technique that made it easier to be vulnerable and talk about things that…
My phone’s not ringing. Is that you not calling?
My pal Manslations blog writer Jeff Mac wrote about how to get a man you’re seeing to call you instead of just texting, IMing and emailing. He had some good wisdom about how we often think the other has the same preferences as us, so we don’t think of doing anything differently. Jeff wisely suggests…
Acknowledge the good stuff
In May, I wrote about my friend Mike Robbins’ work using appreciation to deepen relationships at work and home. (See “The power of appreciation in dating.”) His book, Focus on the Good Stuff: The Power of Appreciation, is finally published, and he’s doing a special drive to get on Amazon’s bestseller list tomorrow. If you…
Does he treat you like his ex?
The question is really, “Does the guy you’re dating treat you like he treated his ex wife?” Not the way he currently treats his ex wife, as he could treat her better or worse than when they were together. But does he behave the way he did when they were together? Let me give you…
Favors during dating — good or bad idea?
“Women grow attached to men through the favors they grant them; but men, through the same favors, are cured of their love.” —Jean de la Bruyere This quote made me examine my attitude about favors, as hopefully it will you, too. Women: do you grow fond of men by the things they do for you?…
In boyfriend you trust?
A gal pal shared a concern about her boyfriend of two months. “He’s still has a very strong relationship with both his ex-wife and his last girlfriend. He’s been apart from his ex-girlfriend a year after a year-long relationship. And he’s been divorced from his ex-wife three years after a two-year marriage. “His ex-girlfriend comes…
Signs of manipulation
DG reader Bigi asked me to address the topic of manipulation. Specifically, how to tell if a man is trying to manipulate you. She says, “I am so gullible and really want to trust so I tend to trust the wrong fellows because I just don’t realize how I have been manipulated.” While some of…