Have you been inundated with the Super Bowl pre-game activity options? You could easily devote the whole weekend to Super Bowl shows if you wanted. In scanning the various proceeding, it reminded me of a conversation I had recently with a single gal pal.
We were talking about how important first impressions are in dating. But we realized the definition of “first impression” was a bit nebulous. Was it the first wink or email? The first phone conversation? Or the first meeting? All are important and can be a telling prelude to the outcome of the “game.”
The “pre-game” activities — pre-meeting, if you will — set the tone for the first face-to-face. I’ve had wonderful email and phone conversations with a man before meeting him, so that when we met it felt like I’d known him a long time. I was already drawn to him when I met him physically. This can set up a touch down much earlier than if you allow the game to progress as painstakingly as it does on the gridiron. Just as in football each yard is won with difficulty (if the teams are evenly matched), in dating each next step evolves quickly or slowly depending on the players.
But as often as the pre-game activities segued into a wonderful first — and subsequent — encounters, they can also build tremendous expectations among the players and fans (your friends who you’ve told about this great guy with whom you’re talking). And as we know, expectations can fall flat as often as not. I’ve experienced this on many occasions. A guy is amazing on the phone and in email (the pre-game interviews and hype of the game), yet when you meet, no sizzle.
My current guy was like that. We’d had wonderful calls and emails for 10 days before meeting for coffee. When we met, he was very tired and he’d momentarily nod off. I thought I must be the most boring person he’d ever talked to. If we hadn’t already set up dinner the next night, I’m afraid I would have sent him a “You’re a nice guy, but I didn’t feel any spark” email. But because of our delicious pre-meeting communication, I decided to give him another chance and the dinner went well (he’d gotten some sleep). So sometimes the pre-game intrigue encourages you to give someone some grace — and another chance.
If you watch the Super Bowl on Sunday, see if you can see parallels to dating. Yes, occasionally your date will be called for “holding,” but you may like it so there is no penalty. “Roughing the passer” is if he gets too fresh but instead of costing him yardage, you make him sit on the bench — alone. No one likes to be on a date with someone who displays “unsportsmanlike conduct.” And sometimes being “sacked” is a good thing. 🙂