Dating after 40

Hi Dating Goddess, I’m dating someone I’m very attracted to, and we have lots of good chemistry on a variety of levels. The only issue I feel the need to question is the way she kisses. When I move in close to kiss her, she appears to retreat within herself and becomes passively accepting. She…

A recent article shared conclusions from researchers at UC Berkeley’s School of Information. The paper “Self-presentation and Deception in Online Dating” found pretty much what we’ve known all along. For example:

In midlife dating, we repeatedly hear, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” At this point in our lives most of us have wrinkles, sags and perhaps even some scars or skin discolerations. Yet it takes a lot, usually, to look beyond the surface image. So what do you do when someone has a facial…

On our first date, as we walked to his car, he said, “I’ll open the door for you, but don’t get used to this.” I asked why.

“I will only date a woman who video chats” my tech-savvy friend declared. “What if she is like me, and doesn’t video chat because no one looks good webcasting?” “It would take a lot for me to want to start dating a woman who doesn’t do video.”

Bulging biceps. Chiseled pecs. Taut tushes. The gym is part of their daily regimen. They look great in — or out of — their clothes. I describe these guys as”hunkalicious.”

Three dates. One month. Ten dates. Three months. I’ve heard all these as people’s criteria for when to first get intimate with a new love.

The doctor in my exercise class is always off a beat. He enthusiastically flails his arms and legs — if occasionally in time with music it is by mere accident. I wonder how it would be to be coupled with a highly intelligent man who had no rhythm and no consciousness that his body is…

When you think of Peanuts’ Lucy and the football, you see a comic strip series where Charlie Brown, the ever hopeful and trusting soul, believes Lucy when she tells him — once again — that she’ll hold the ball for him to kick. Every time — for decades — she pulls the ball away at…

With apologies to Queen (but without the violence of their song), I share that another one bites the dust. Number 102. The result of my latest foray into Match.com.

After one has been dating for a while, the excitement and novelty of meeting new people wears off. Couple that with too many one-time-only encounters, and you become more guarded with your time and emotions. At least I know this is true for me, and I’m guessing it is for others who have been searching…