Today would have been my twenty-second wedding anniversary. I think it is important to reminisce about long-term relationships gone awry as one would at a memorial of a difficult person. Not dwell on the downs, but the ups. Paint a picture of what was added to your life as a result, not what was stripped….
Dating after 40
What’s in a name?
Lately, I’ve been contacted by a number of men with formal names: Patrick not Pat, Charles not Charlie or Chuck, Richard not Dick or Rick or Rich. I’ve also noticed that people who use the formal version of their name are different than those who offer the informal version. Since I use the formal version…
Are you drawn to deep-voiced men?
Another useless study was recently released that announced, “Women favor men with deep voices.” Robin Thicke and Michael Jackson, sorry! It’s well known that many women are attracted to men with deep, Barry White-like voices. Part of my ex’s allure was his resonant, radio-announcer voice (he had a radio show for a few years). Another…
Can too much spoiling be bad?
A man contacted me whose online name is the equivalent of Wuss4U. I laughed, as I thought it must be a joke. I read his profile: “I seek an aggressive woman who wants to take charge and call the shots. I am meek and mild, shy. I need a strong, forceful woman to dominate me….
Entering the Land of Testosterone
I’m experimenting with trying to meet men in the “real” world. I’m inserting myself into places where gobs of possible potential suitors gather. Today I entered the Land of Testosterone. “Where is that?” you ask. A professional football game. A friend had an extra ticket so I attended our local team’s game. I thought this…
Cruising at festivals
Our neighborhood is hosting a city-wide Italian festival today, so I decided to use it as an opportunity to cruise for men. After all, we’ve been discussing how hanging out where people you are likely to like in the “real” world (vs. Internet) is a better option. So I wanted to experiment to see if…
Social-circle accountability — a missing link in online dating
We’ve heard — and sometimes experienced — the horror stories of midlife dating. When we think that middle-aged men and women should behave like adults they flummox us with their adolescent behaviors. Many of these bad boy/girl stories come from meeting folks through Internet dating sites. If you’ve been around for more than a day,…
Avoid frivolous talk on a date
Frivolous: unworthy of serious attention; trivial; of little value. One of the consistent complaints men make about women is their incessant talking. And it’s just not that there is no silence. But women more than men talk and talk and talk about things of no consequence to the men. In fact, she will go into…
Give yourself more dating happiness
My friends at LifeTwo.com asked me to participate as one of five columnists in exercises for their “Happiness Week.” I’ve written about happiness in dating a few times: Do you know what will make you happy? Are you a happy dater? Let’s take a look at how we can meld things that make us happy…
Should you state your dating goal even before meeting?
I just listened to the 4-CD seminar, “In Sync with the Opposite Sex™,” with Alison Armstrong. A close friend has attended a number of her seminars and highly recommends them, so I’ve been immersing myself in her work. This CD was recorded live, so you hear Alison’s fun presentation style and her wittily interacting with…
What’s your need for affiliation?
A friend shared with me the concept of people having different needs for affiliation — how much “people contact” they need. As you would guess, some have a very low need for affiliation — someone like the Unabomber who is content to live like a hermit with human contact only a few times a year,…