In “First-date red flags that this guy isn’t for you” I talked about what men do that tell you he should be released back into the dating pool. But I’ve been curious what women do that make a man say, “She’s not for me.” Of course, everyone has their individual deal breakers, so I interviewed…
Are you ready for Mr. Great?
When “be yourself” is questionable advice
Oft-heard advice to daters is, “Just be yourself.” Well, what if “yourself” isn’t very appealing? What if “being yourself” means showing up for a first date with disheveled hair, dirty, ripped clothes, and uncouth behavior? That’s how you are at home, so isn’t it truly being yourself? On one hand, you shouldn’t try to be…
Men behaving badly
I rarely talk about “bad” dates, because if a date doesn’t work out, it just wasn’t meant to be. No use lingering on what didn’t work or what an unpleasant experience it was. When people hear I’ve written a book about midlife dating (now in my literary agent’s hands to sell), many immediately say, “I…
A different kind of f-buddy
No, I am not referring to the term most commonly associated with the f-buddy phrase. I have a new meaning for f-buddy — flirt buddy! What is a flirt buddy? Someone you can flirt with by email, phone or in person who knows you have no serious intentions. Some of my favorite flirt buddies are…
“If you’ve got it, flaunt it!”
This was a favorite saying from my mother. Ironically, she was one of the most prudish women I’ve ever known, so she wasn’t talking about flaunting your physical attributes. However, we are going explore when to do that. You, no doubt, know what of your physical characteristics men find most appealing. You have to decide…
What you perceive is what you receive
I’ve adapted a folk tale to dating. It goes like this: On the outskirts of town, an older woman was gardening next to the road when a stranger pulls up and leans out her window. “Hello there. I’m headed to your town to see if it would be a good place to resettle. I’m single…
Does your date nourish your mind?
In a recent article, my friend professional speaker extraordinaire Mark Sanborn wrote about relationships. He said, “Some of my best relationships … challenge me intellectually and spiritually. Scott Peck believed that love was about the commitment to another’s growth, and that makes sense to me.” I agree! I find potential suitors’ conversations uninteresting that mostly…
Emotional unavailability
Many of the women I’ve talked to say they’ve dated men who were emotionally unavailable. I realized I’m not sure how to tell if a guy is emotionally available or not. So I did a little research. An article at Neil Rosenthal’s Heart Relationships site listed a number of ways to tell if someone is…
Disposable dating
We live in a disposable society, where instead of fixing something, it is often easier and cheaper to throw it out and get a new one. Sometimes it appears this applies to dating as well. With Internet dating, there seems to be a steady supply of potential suitors. Even if you don’t get contacted frequently,…
Teed off by weekend getaway with golf addict
In “Before agreeing to a weekend getaway, clarify expectations,” I told you of a weekend “romantic” getaway with a man I’d seen occasionally over seven months. A week before the outing, he sprang on me that he planned to golf Saturday. I was not pleased, but was willing to be a good sport, under the…
When lost baggage is a good thing
We all carry some baggage — as in emotional baggage — when we date and enter new relationships. We all schlep some from past hurts with lovers, parents or others who were influential. Sometimes we haul hurts inflicted by strangers. I’m a little wary when a potential suitor says he has no emotional baggage. Unless…