Doesn’t this phrase sound benign? Refreshing even? Can you imagine a perfect-temperatured, clear, tranquil pool, inviting you to dip your toes or immerse yourself totally in the rejuvenating water? Do see yourself floating on the pristine pond as the gentle current rocks you into complete relaxation? If only releasing someone — or being released —…
Moving on graciously
“I only want to date someone I would marry”
A newly divorced friend was intrigued by my philosophy about dating so many men. She said, “I just couldn’t do that. I don’t want to date anyone I wouldn’t see myself marrying.” She is not alone. This is many women’s philosophy. She says she is too busy to spend time with someone she doesn’t think…
Trust your instincts
Have you ever found yourself in a situation because you didn’t follow your instincts? Your gut is saying “Danger Will Robinson” but you ignore the flashing red lights. I never thought I’d have to remind myself of this sage old advice: “If something doesn’t feel right, get out of the situation — now.” I am…
“You are just too much work”
Sometimes a guy says something that stings but it shifts your perspective so it ends up for the better. We’d been seeing each other a few weeks. I enjoyed his company. Smart, funny and affectionate, he made me laugh like no one else. I thought it was going well. Then, over cocktails, he told me…
Why men go “poof”
Vanish. Disappear. Do a David Copperfield. I’ve pondered this a lot, as it’s happened often. I’ve interviewed men friends. The following is what I’ve gleaned. If you don’t hear from a guy after one date, it’s clear he’s not interested. No problem, even though it’s classier to send a nice email stating such. But what…
Are you getting prime time from your man?
A guy pal called me on a Friday night and was surprised I was home. He knew I’d been dating a guy for a few weeks and thought I’d be out on the town. “Is he out of town?” he asked. “No.” When I explained that I saw my guy Wed., but we weren’t scheduled…
Qualify your potential dates before meeting
After dating now nearly 2 years, I’ve learned how to weed out many men who aren’t good matches. Why meet and waste both our time? Men have to go through a few hoops to earn a date with me — even if it’s just a coffee date. I have more invitations than I have time…
Breaking up is hard to do…right
In a recent NY Times article “Is It Over? Log on and See,” journalist Melena Ryzik explores how many young people don’t know their partner has broken up with them until they see his/her MySpace status changed to “single.” She points out that the status change often quickly follows a spat — but sometimes it’s…
Broaching tough conversations
In talking with a married gal pal, we discussed how sometimes it is hard to bring up difficult issues to your mate. I shared that there were things in my marriage that I wish I’d brought up, but instead kept them to myself. She agreed that she was withholding some difficult topics in her relationship…
Men and women see sex differently
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” —Billy Crystal I am continually flummoxed by how men and women seem to see sex so totally differently. From my experience, it seems that men take sex much less seriously than women. I know I’m generalizing here. I know there are always exceptions,…
The sex talk
I’m surprised when a man expresses he wants to have sex, but he doesn’t then initiate a discussion of protection. I guess there’s an assumption condoms will be used, but how much more reassuring it would be if he brings up the issue rather than me. If he were to say “I would love to…