DG reader Devon wrote: All divorced people are in a different place along the post-divorce road. I met someone wonderful last summer, attraction, chemistry, great sex, good conversation and we had fun. It lasted 3 months, I was ready for a companion, he was still recovering from the break up of his family and the…
Assessing your assets
Good first-date advice from a gay man
The following was written by Brian Rzepczynski, “The Gay Love Coach” but the concepts apply to heterosexual relationships as well. I thought his concepts were so good, I wanted to share them with you (with his permission). Change the gender references to what fits for you. “The First Date: Assessing His Boyfriend Potential” You sit…
Looking for a connection
“I’ve had a lot of sex in my life. I’m looking for a connection. Sex is an important element in a long-term relationship, but it’s not the only important thing.” My jaw was agape as I heard him share his philosophy. I admit it. I’ve come to expect the polar opposite from midlife men in…
Can an ambitious gal find happiness with a lackadaisical guy?
Bev, a DG reader, shared: I met a guy a couple months ago, and I really like him. He is everything I could possibly ask for, except for one thing, he doesn’t work. He is only 43 and on a pension. He told me that he was ill for two years and has not worked…
Prince Considerate
Many women refer to their perfect man as Prince Charming. We want someone who is likable and knows what to say to get along with others. But charm can also be shallow, knowing what to say without really meaning it. And he could be charming to others but lose that capacity with you. I grew…
When should you disclose any, er, unusual preferences?
I was once contacted by a man who said in his profile that he was “slightly kinky.” When I asked what he meant exactly, he said he’d explain in person. He was a perfect gentleman on the phone and in emails, so I thought it was worth a coffee meeting to find out. I’ve learned…
Is he collecting data on how to make you happy?
I briefly dated a man who interspersed into our conversations a myriad of questions about my preferences. He asked about my favorite flower, gemstone, color, fabric, musical artist, book genre, movie type, restaurants, foods, thing to do on a sunny day, coffee shop, travel destinations, pet peeves, etc. After a few questions, I asked why…
Marriage as a business deal?
I received an email about a presumably true Craigslist personals ad by a 25-year-old attractive (“stunningly beautiful”) NYC woman wanting advice on how to meet and marry a man who earns over $500,000 a year. Why that amount? Because “a million a year is middle class in NYC.” And she doesn’t want to be just…
Falling in love one drop at a time
Have you noticed that people fall in love with varying rapidity? For some, it’s a wham, all-at-once thing soon — sometimes minutes — after meeting someone. For others, it may take years. For some it’s a slow-but-steady thing, like coffee dripping through the filter one drop at a time. It’s a thousand drops that bring…
Is your date sensitive to your comfort?
In “Before agreeing to a weekend getaway, clarify expectations” I shared how I’ve learned to ask better questions before going on an outing. So I asked a few when a man I’d gone out with 5 times in a month asked if I wanted to accompany him and his photography club to a horse show….
“Ninny-ness”
A gal pal says that when you’re enamored, smitten, enraptured, enthralled, and/or mesmerized with someone, you become a ninny. Your brain is not fully engaged. You do and say things to or with that person that if you were advising someone else, you’d tell him/her not to do/say. But you find yourself thinking these are…