Some midlife women complain that some men they’ve dated want someone to take care of them — a mommy. Of course, in a Oedipal twist, they also want her to perform in the bedroom, assuming he still can. Being a mother figure isn’t all bad if that is what you like. Many women like nurturing…
Assessing your assets
Are you too picky?
A friend chided me, “You’ve gone out with 75 men in 2 years. Why aren’t you married? Are you too picky?” When midlife women share that they haven’t found their “one” and they’re getting tired of looking, they begin to wonder if they are being too picky. The dilemma is, should you continue to be…
How hard must a man work to get a date with you?
Some women play hard to get on purpose. Some just end up being hard to get because of circumstances. What if a man asked you out 28 times before you said yes? He’s not a creep, nor a stalker, but someone who’s genuinely interested in you. He’s kinda cute, nice and pleasant, but you have…
Do you love how he loves you?
Do you know how you want to be loved? What if a man loves you, but not quite the way you want to be loved? Will you stick with him, thinking that you can teach him how you want to be loved? Has that worked? I’ve been fortunate enough in my 2.5 years of dating…
“I don’t want a whipped boyfriend”
These words were uttered by my neighbor’s 16-year-old daughter as we were discussing dating. The three of us were sharing the nice things men we dated had done for us when she blurted this out. I was surprised, as I didn’t think any of the examples we shared would be considered signs of a man…
Are you arguing your limitations?
Midlife women sometimes passionately, convincingly, compellingly tell me why no man would be interested in dating them. “Men aren’t interested in a woman like me who has wrinkles, bags, extra pounds and hot flashes,” she may start. “They’re only interested in girls half their age. And forget anyone wanting a feisty, intelligent, educated woman like…
Do your activity preferences match your guy’s?
Are you clear on how much you like to weekly participate in activities with a sweetie? How much alone time do you want/need? How much time do you want weekly/monthly to spend with your friends and/or family without him? And when you’re with your guy, optimally how many times a week do you want to…
Are you dating the same guy in different bodies?
You may be familiar with the poem “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson (pictured at right). In the poem, Ms. Nelson concisely illustrates how we make choices, have an unpleasant experience, and blame others. Then we learn from our experiences, take responsibility for our choices, and ultimately make different…
What’s your idea of boyfriend responsibilities?
“Boyfriend responsibilities” are not the same as “marital duties,” but the latter can be included in the former. My sweetie and I were discussing boyfriend responsibilities during his visit this week. After he returned home he apologized for not being more cognizant of his boyfriend responsibilities. He knew my garage door opener needed a minor…
Do your friends birddog for you?
By “birddog” I am not referring to Labrador Retrievers, English Pointers, or German Shorthaired Pointers. However, I am referring to their ability to find and point out what you are looking for. The verb “birddog” is common in sales. When someone birddogs for you, s/he is providing you leads to prospects. When I was president…
The date relationship test
I’ve discovered a key relationship test. This one is guaranteed to tell you what you need to know about your guy, so I recommend using this test early in the relationship to decide if you want to keep seeing him or not. What is the test? Picking a DVD together at Blockbuster. Why is this…