A midlife friend recently broke up with his girlfriend of 10 years. The reason he broke up with her is after a lot of soul searching and couples counseling, it became clear they wanted different things. When I asked how he was doing regarding this, he said he was using this as an impetus to…
Taking the hard way out
When you’ve decided you don’t want further contact with someone, it’s easy to ignore their phone calls, IMs, texts or emails. Perhaps you rise a level to at least send a “we’re not a match” email. It’s hardest to actually tell the person face-to-face. However, if you’ve only had one encounter, it seems counter-productive to…
Sex talk too soon
A new man started pursuing me and after a few calls shared how much he liked me. I had made no sexual innuendos nor teasing, so was taken aback when he said, “I want to make love to you.” I’ve heard this from a number of men and generally shake it off as they are…
Feeling smothered
When someone likes another, the “liker” wants a lot of contact with the “likee.” However, if the ardor isn’t equal, the likee can feel smothered.
Setting boundaries vs. playing games
No one likes it when someone they are dating “plays games,” which is a nebulous description of someone trying to manipulate the other. (We’re not talking Monopoly, Bridge, or tennis here!) But very few people can articulate what constitutes a game. (However, it is commonly agreed that if an “attached,” [e.g., non-single] person acts as…
Handsome men who don’t know it
Good-looking men are nearly always alluring. Some ruin it, however, when you spend time with them. Their good looks have made them arrogant, vain, insensitive and/or jerks. They are used to women treating them well even if they behave badly. In an episode of “30 Rock” Jon Hamm played a handsome doctor who Tina Fey’s…
Expensive gifts too soon
I would have never predicted that this would be a problem in dating. But it was — for a friend of mine.
What might have been
Sometimes we find ourselves thinking about someone we would have liked to date, but it never came to be. You wonder how it might have turned out. If he’s still single, you wonder if you should reconnect. Or if he’s now a pal, if we should telegraph our romantic interest. A colleague and I found…
The keys to allure
Since humankind began, people have been trying to improve their allure. Yet it seems elusive for many, even though some elements seem obvious:
A bad penny returns
I’d deleted his contact info everywhere I could find it after he broke up with me via text 2 years ago. I was surprised to receive that text, as our 5-month relationship had been tumultuous, but I (wrongly) thought we were committed to working out our hiccups. Our last conversation two weeks later — via…
Full disclosure
A DG reader shared that he learned his last girlfriend was currently married only after he proposed when she said she was pregnant. It made me think of what else would be assuring to have someone prove before you got too involved. Of course, it would be considered rude to request the following — at…