I give a prospective suitor only my cell phone number until I know him well enough to know he won’t be a stalker. A cell phone number can’t be traced easily to a street address, as a land line can. Since few people other than potential or current suitors call me on this phone, I’ve…
Tag: dating after forty
What’s your “perfect boyfriend’s” job description?
“When I was a young man, I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her — but alas, she was waiting for the ideal man.” —Robert Schuman It has been said that first dates are like job interviews, with both sides interviewing for the other’s position of “sweetheart/lover/mate.” While…
Dating differences: it’s in the brains
My friend Ian forwarded the following excerpt from an article on the difference between male and female brains, as it relates to dating and relationships. “‘[Women] use different brain areas and circuits to solve problems, process language, experience and store the same strong emotion,’ [researcher] Brizendine says. ‘Women may remember the smallest details of their…
First-date red flags that this guy isn’t for you
He’s pleasant and cordial. However, there are red flags that make you cautious. Some by themselves are deal breakers (he drinks too much), while others have the cumulative effect of “I’m going to pass on this guy.” For each woman the red flags she notices will be different. Here are some of mine: He talks…
The importance of sweet talk
You’ve developed a fondness for each other in several long phone conversations, so you agree to meet. There are signs he’s attracted — he touches you gently, holds your hand, looks you in the eye, pays attention to what you say, asks about you and your interests, seems interested in pleasing you. You are drawn…
Anticipating a big date is like awaiting Santa
Tonight I’m meeting a man with whom I’ve been communicating for a month, with nearly daily hour-long phone calls. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve, unsettled with the excitement of what Santa will bring. Do you remember that feeling of joyous anticipation as you await a big event? Will the electricity be as…
“Pimpin’” — Dating multiple guys
“Save a boyfriend for a rainy day — and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” —Mae West I’ve found that successful dating requires juggling several men at once. It is like sales, you have to have a number of prospects in the pipeline. I frequently date several men in the same time period until…
What is sexy?
“Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.” —Sophia Loren In my online profile, I used to describe myself as sexy. I took it out. Why? I realized that while I feel I am sexy, it is totally subjective. What if the guy doesn’t find me sexy? Will he…
Getting naked with him the first time
“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.” –Robert De Niro Many mid-life singles haven’t been intimate with someone other than their long-term mate…
Don’t initiate
Chatting with a friend yesterday, he observed that dating for woman over 40 was different than for women under 40 because of the mixed expectations. Many mid-life women have had career success because of their assertiveness — sometimes even aggressiveness. While that serves them in work, men don’t typically want an aggressive woman in their…
50 ways to leave your lover? 4 ways NOT to leave your suitor
If you know it isn’t a good match, you owe it to him to tell him and then either move on or become friends. But do so graciously, respectfully and gracefully, no matter what. Here are four ways NOT to let him know. Via email — if you’ve dated him more than a few times,…