“Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.” —Sophia Loren In my online profile, I used to describe myself as sexy. I took it out. Why? I realized that while I feel I am sexy, it is totally subjective. What if the guy doesn’t find me sexy? Will he…
Dating after 40
Getting naked with him the first time
“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.” –Robert De Niro Many mid-life singles haven’t been intimate with someone other than their long-term mate…
Safe online dating
A gal pal said she was afraid to date online because of safety issues. It’s true that online you don’t know much about the guy. But that is true if you meet him in a store, bar, on a singles hike or dance. So there are some precautions you take no matter where you meet…
Don’t initiate
Chatting with a friend yesterday, he observed that dating for woman over 40 was different than for women under 40 because of the mixed expectations. Many mid-life women have had career success because of their assertiveness — sometimes even aggressiveness. While that serves them in work, men don’t typically want an aggressive woman in their…
Dating as networking
I’ve been pleased to meet some wonderful men in my dating adventures. Sometimes I’ve been able to connect them to others in my life. A year ago I had one date with a charming, educated, articulate man who consults on doing business in Africa. We kept in contact after the date, even though he lived…
Do you have the right datewear?
Do you have the right clothes to wear on dates — datewear? I think it’s especially important to have the right kind of attire for the first meeting. You know how important first impressions are — and how you dress says a lot about you. I’ve had dates show up in unironed shirts and dirty…
They come, they go
When a friend asks about a potential suitor I’ve talked about but is no longer around, they seem surprised when I say “He’s gone. They come, they go.” This is how it is in the dating world. You see someone a few times, then they lose interest or move on, but don’t bother to tell…
Flirt your heart out
“Flirt — a girl whose favorite man is the next one.” —Anonymous After spending the day together shopping and dining, a friend told me she marveled at my ability to flirt and said I should teach classes on flirting! I hadn’t really thought about it until she said it. Yes, I am friendly, I smile…
In search of the elusive good kisser
“A man’s kiss is his signature. ” —Mae West I’ve been surprised by the lack of good kissers in my dating adventures. Granted, sometimes it takes a while to actually get a romantic kiss — if ever. It took 6 dates with one guy before I got a “real” kiss — something beyond…
Paris — right invitation, wrong guy
I’ve been invited to Paris by two guys. In fact, one guy asked me twice, 15 months apart, and I wasn’t even dating him the second time. And I had never dated the other guy. I did not accept the invitations. Why? The first time, with the twice-asker, I had just been dating him a…
What is the definition of a date?
I went to the movie yesterday with a guy I’d had a lunch date with a year ago. When I told a friend about this, I said, “I don’t know it was a date or not.” “Did he ask you to the movie?” “I don’t recall. We talked a few weeks ago and the movie…