In sales, when you check for buying interest you use a trial close. Something like, “If you were to purchase this, which color/size/model would you like most?” Or, “If you were to go ahead, how many units would you initially order?” I’ve noticed some guys use a “trial kiss” to check for a woman’s “buying…
Dating chemistry
Do you get his motor running, or why does he read “easy” on your forehead?
I was chatting with a male friend about why the majority of the “bad” dates listed in “Men behaving badly” involved men moving too fast. We discussed if these guys were just horn dogs or if I was sending off subtle signals that were being misinterpreted. He: How do you behave in pre-meeting phone calls…
Women’s first-date blunders
In “First-date red flags that this guy isn’t for you” I talked about what men do that tell you he should be released back into the dating pool. But I’ve been curious what women do that make a man say, “She’s not for me.” Of course, everyone has their individual deal breakers, so I interviewed…
Men behaving badly
I rarely talk about “bad” dates, because if a date doesn’t work out, it just wasn’t meant to be. No use lingering on what didn’t work or what an unpleasant experience it was. When people hear I’ve written a book about midlife dating (now in my literary agent’s hands to sell), many immediately say, “I…
Does your date nourish your mind?
In a recent article, my friend professional speaker extraordinaire Mark Sanborn wrote about relationships. He said, “Some of my best relationships … challenge me intellectually and spiritually. Scott Peck believed that love was about the commitment to another’s growth, and that makes sense to me.” I agree! I find potential suitors’ conversations uninteresting that mostly…
Teed off by weekend getaway with golf addict
In “Before agreeing to a weekend getaway, clarify expectations,” I told you of a weekend “romantic” getaway with a man I’d seen occasionally over seven months. A week before the outing, he sprang on me that he planned to golf Saturday. I was not pleased, but was willing to be a good sport, under the…
“What size bed do you prefer?”
This is a favorite question to ask a guy I’ve been flirting with for a bit. Depending on the chemistry, it is not a first-conversation question, and perhaps not even a first-date question. But if he is fun and flirty, then I’ll ask. It tells me a lot about him. Whatever he answers I ask,…
Persistence pays — perhaps
When I first began to date, two men contacted me the same week from the only online site I was listed. Each emailed me several times a day the first week, and we spoke by phone. I liked them both, but Mr. JohnnyOnTheSpot asked for a date within the week. The other lived an hour…
Are you a power dater? Would you be upset with one?
Another Internet dater shared that a guy she’d met online called and set a coffee date at 1:00 the following Monday. A little later, he called her again, apparently thinking she was a different woman, and set a 3:00 coffee date for the same day. She was incensed. She told him off and canceled both…
Are you a good verbal hugger?
A verbal hug is a sincere acknowledgment. The usual result is that the receiver feels good. It’s similar to a physical hug, but there’s no touching — except the recipient’s heart is often touched. You embrace him with your words. We all like sincere compliments, as long as it’s not overdone. A relationship is built…
The “Better Than Nothing” guy
In my friend Susan Page’s bestselling book, If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever she discusses the “Better Than Nothing” (BTN) partner. A BTN is someone you know isn’t “the one,” yet you hang onto him because you feel it’s better to have someone…