After dating a guy a while, you want to introduce him to your friends. You’re hoping they’ll see how terrific he is. But what if they don’t? You are torn between wanting to know what they think … and not. Some women defend their man if their friends say anything negative about him. But what…
Dating after 40
Turn your liabilities into assets
Years ago I led a seminar on how to have a positive attitude at work. In the text, Attitude: Your Most Priceless Possession, author Elwood Chapman suggests employing the “Flipside Technique.” The concept is to take something not commonly considered good and reframe it as a positive, injecting a dose of humor when necessary. We’ll…
Saluting all midlife dating moms
I’m not a mom, but have watched my single friends who are dating. I marvel at how they juggle work, kids and their personal lives. Today being Mother’s Day, I wanted to tell all mom DG readers how much I admire you. If you have kids at home, it is so easy to forget about…
Do you infantilize your guy?
Infantilize: Treat (someone) as a child or in a way that denies their maturity in age or experience. In “Does he want a ‘mommy’?” we discussed how some men want a woman who will take care of them. Let’s talk about the flip side — women who treat the midlife man they’re dating (or married…
Are you his spare?
For a few weeks a gal pal was exchanging flirty emails multiple times a day with a an online match. He then suggested they have dinner and she countered that she was more comfortable with lunch. They continued their multiple-per-day email flirting a few more weeks, but he never again brought up getting together. She…
Fresh out of men?
When you find yourself out of prospective dates, wouldn’t it be great if you could just go to the store and pick up what you want? Were it that easy. In “Shopping for men” I described how sometimes you have to be creative and patient in your search. DG reader Stephanie writes, “What happens when…
Should you respond to someone about whom you’re ambivalent?
You receive a nice, personalized email from a man on a dating site. He’s crafted an message specific to you, commenting on items from your profile. His profile is fine, but something is a borderline deal breaker. You vacillate whether to respond with your nice boilerplate “Thanks but no thanks” email, or to encourage more…
What is your attire telling your dates?
Is what you wear on the first few dates with a guy sending the messages you want? Do you find men relate to you differently than you’d like? It may not be them — it may be signals you’re sending through your appearance. When I began dating again I thought I had to wear what…
The power of appreciation in dating
Many years ago I heard a speaker state that 95% of communication in a romantic relationship should be acknowledgment. In other words, most of what you say to each other should be positive, complimentary and affirmative of the other. This made me look at my own communication with my then husband. I didn’t track the…
Slow down, you move too fast
Yesterday, I spent time with a colleague I hadn’t seen in a long time. I knew he had been online dating so was interested in an update. He had decided to run his dating life similarly to how he runs his business. He’d troll for suitable prospects on dating sites, then send an email to…
Does he “get” you?
The dictionary has many meanings for the word “get.” This discussion is about the informal term for “understand.” But I think “get” goes beyond just understanding. My friend author/speaker Larry Winget gave me a high compliment one day: “You’re one of the few people who really get me” he said after a conversation about his…