“I’m out of your league” sounds so snooty, snotty, and superior. You’re looking down your nose at the other, saying he isn’t good enough for you. A potential suitor once emailed me, “You’re so far out of my league that I wouldn’t be allowed in the stadium where your league plays. I can only play…
Dating after 40
Ignore dating rule #1 at your peril
Rule #1 actually applies to life, not just dating. It earned its exalted status as #1 during a family reunion. It was day two of the three-day reunion. Already those with “strong” (e.g., obnoxious) personalities were starting to get to some of us. A handful of us met for breakfast just to have some non-irritating…
Host a singles mingle
A pal is having a divorce party soon when his paperwork is final. His divorce was amicable, so he would be celebrating his new-found singledom. I suggested it might be fun to turn it into a singles mingle event. He said, “That would be boring, as I’d have a house full of guys.” Me: “You…
Are you assessing — or judging — your date?
These terms are often used interchangeably. However, I see a difference. Assessing is when you notice things about him. He’s 6-feet tall, blue eyed, with dark curly hair. He has a little paunch, slouches, and interrupts often. He makes eye contact and speaks clearly. Judging is when you put a value on what you see….
Are you date sated — or hungry?
Sate: satisfy (a desire or an appetite) to the full; supply (someone) with as much as or more of something than is desired or can be managed. You know not to grocery shop when you are hungry as you’ll be tempted to take home things that aren’t really good for you. The same is true…
Expressing your upset with your guy
When conflict occurs in a personal relationship, it’s easy to blame the other. In my communication seminars I teach a 4-step method* for telling someone you’re upset with something they’ve done or said. The second step is “Express how you feel.” We give the participants the sentence stem, “When you …, I feel ….” Even…
Are you sending (or receiving) mixed messages?
You know what mixed messages are, but you may not be aware you’re sending them: You tell the guy you’re dating you want to move slowly, yet you try to seduce him on the third date. You claim you like to cook, but when you invite him over for a DVD you always ask him…
Removing your mask
Most of us wear a mask, presenting ourselves as we want people to perceive us, not only in dating but in life. We decide how much and how soon to reveal our true selves based on the connection and trust we have with another. If we are feeling safe enough to let our hair down,…
What do you think your date’s car says about him?
Some women judge a man by his car. If he drives an expensive car, she assumes he’s financially sound. But he could be hocked up to his eyeballs to pay for it. And men think a cool car equals sexiness. I met a potential suitor for coffee whose screen name was “Boxster.” I watched him…
Long-distance dating pros and cons
Some people set no distance requirements on potential suitors. One DG reader shared she was romanced by a guy half way around the world for over two years! (They never met and he went poof one day.) Other people have ridiculously short distance requirements. Some men list 10 miles as their dating radius in their…
Being “thrown under the bus”
This is a common term in the dating world to express a breakup. At the end of a relationship, you are either the one being thrown or the one doing the throwing. Neither image is a pleasant one. When I suggest my sweetie is going to throw me under the bus, he cringes at the…