Perhaps you’re like me and immediately Google a guy as soon as you have his first and last name. While I’ve never found any incriminating evidence this way, I have found some interesting items about the guy I’m considering meeting. I imagine myself a CSI (one of my favorite shows), linking disparate clues to complete…
Dating after 40
When do you feel most vulnerable in dating?
Recently I’ve been feeling sort of vulnerable regarding the guy I’ve been seeing. He doesn’t call every day and if more than a few days pass, I begin to feel he’s gone “poof” like so many men before him. I could call him — and I have — but know that He’s Just Not That…
When breaking up is a “Get Out of Jail Free” card
When we are not the one who ends a relationship, even a short-term dating relationship, it usually stings. Being on the receiving end of the boot with a longer-term, intimate relationship often creates wounds that last for years. No matter how much we work to accept it — and in some cases welcome it —…
Being “in wonder” about your date’s behavior
Have you ever wondered what a date was thinking when he said or did something not expected? I have. With various guys. My date said, “I hate to leave. I really wish I could stay with you longer.” Then he sent a “Have a nice life” email a day later. He flirted with me online,…
How are you “wearing” your dating choices?
Yesterday I attended a sculpture showing of the master sculptor Jeff Tritel. Jeff and I went to college together and had lost touch ’til recently. I stumbled upon him and his beautiful work in August at an art festival, then was invited to this weekend’s showing. Jeff gave me a tour of his recent work,…
“You live a rich fantasy life”
Somehow that phrase crept into my repertoire many years ago. I don’t remember if someone said it to me or I made it up. But it keeps coming up as I hear someone say something that illustrates their view of reality is very different than mine. And of course, I sometimes get hit on the…
What dates are you inviting to influence you?
Within the first few weeks of the new year, I was contacted by five of the 73 men I’d gone out with the last two years. I’d been thinking about how grateful I was that many good men had passed through my life as a result of dating. In fact, I told each of the…
Exclusivity: How and when to broach it
A DG reader wrote: “I’d love to see a blog from you on how and when to decide to date just one person. I do struggle with this issue. I figure I’ll wait ’til they bring it up, but they haven’t, and I’m pretty sure they’ve assumed we’re an item and I’m not dating others….
Are you and your guy on the same sexual time line?
A male pal and I were discussing dating, and how sometimes a man and woman’s sexual time lines are different. In other words, one is ready to move forward physically before the other. For the sake of this illustration, we’ll assume the man wants things to move more quickly than the woman, although we know…
Questions to ask yourself before getting naked with him
You’re really attracted to the guy you’ve been dating. Things have been heating up and you feel soon you’ll be salsa-ing under the sheets. You think he’s attractive — perhaps even hot — and you can’t keep your hands off each other. My friend George says he asked himself two questions when dating before deciding…
The first time … calling him
A guy you’ve been emailing from a dating site has given you his number and requested you call if you want to talk. You’re grateful because you’re uneasy giving a stranger your phone number. His number sits on a Post-It on your desk. You pick it up several times a day. But you put it…