Have you ever driven a car that seems very foreign to you? I remember driving a friend’s Italian sports car that had five gears when I was used to four. The dashboard had a unfamiliar layout. And everything was labeled in Italian! Or maybe you’re a Mac gal and every once in a great while…
When your guy vexes you, ask what your highest self would do
When the guy you’re dating does something that really torques your jaw, something you consider incredibly rude, self-centered, or insensitive, it’s easy to get in his face about it. But if most of the time he’s a thoughtful, polite, sharing, caring, conscious guy, this inconsiderate behavior is an anomaly. So how do you approach the…
Flirting with fame — and a radio interviewer
Thursday I was interviewed by Steve L., a reporter from ClearChannel’s KEX radio station in Portland. Not only did Steve prove to be a great interviewer, but a fun flirt too! We were talking about managing expectations with Valentine’s Day coming up. Here’s basically what we said, although I didn’t record it, so it’s to…
No bull — Welsh dairy farmers herding up dates
Single Welsh dairy farmers looking for love are putting personal ads on their milk cartons! How udderly creative! This comes as they celebrate St. Dwynwen’s Day (Jan. 25), The Welsh patron saint of lovers. They’re milking this for all it’s worth! One of the girlfriendless farmers, Iwan Jones, said, “The Welsh countryside is a great…
Can Google help — or hinder — your dating life?
Perhaps you’re like me and immediately Google a guy as soon as you have his first and last name. While I’ve never found any incriminating evidence this way, I have found some interesting items about the guy I’m considering meeting. I imagine myself a CSI (one of my favorite shows), linking disparate clues to complete…
When do you feel most vulnerable in dating?
Recently I’ve been feeling sort of vulnerable regarding the guy I’ve been seeing. He doesn’t call every day and if more than a few days pass, I begin to feel he’s gone “poof” like so many men before him. I could call him — and I have — but know that He’s Just Not That…
When breaking up is a “Get Out of Jail Free” card
When we are not the one who ends a relationship, even a short-term dating relationship, it usually stings. Being on the receiving end of the boot with a longer-term, intimate relationship often creates wounds that last for years. No matter how much we work to accept it — and in some cases welcome it —…
Being “in wonder” about your date’s behavior
Have you ever wondered what a date was thinking when he said or did something not expected? I have. With various guys. My date said, “I hate to leave. I really wish I could stay with you longer.” Then he sent a “Have a nice life” email a day later. He flirted with me online,…
How are you “wearing” your dating choices?
Yesterday I attended a sculpture showing of the master sculptor Jeff Tritel. Jeff and I went to college together and had lost touch ’til recently. I stumbled upon him and his beautiful work in August at an art festival, then was invited to this weekend’s showing. Jeff gave me a tour of his recent work,…
“You live a rich fantasy life”
Somehow that phrase crept into my repertoire many years ago. I don’t remember if someone said it to me or I made it up. But it keeps coming up as I hear someone say something that illustrates their view of reality is very different than mine. And of course, I sometimes get hit on the…
What dates are you inviting to influence you?
Within the first few weeks of the new year, I was contacted by five of the 73 men I’d gone out with the last two years. I’d been thinking about how grateful I was that many good men had passed through my life as a result of dating. In fact, I told each of the…